A good idea...I hope.

So...I gotta tell ya...I am having a good time writing these days...and it has been inspiring. Heather (my lovely wife) told me I should write a book, and although the idea is not a new one...her directive to me was, because it was more urgent and in some ways as if she were in part challenging me...and in part telling me that she would help me if I wanted to really accomplish this as well as market it...a directive that felt to me it was with some teeth and opportunity.

So I sat down and came up with a little over 40 subjects that I am interested in writing about. Some semblance of a plan I guess you could say. I let Heather know I had accomplished this first step and she was supportive. I sent her the list and...well...she never really read it above a quick skip through it...but she was supportive...and I was still inspired so...as a next step I made a choice about which of the 40+ subjects I would start writing about...and then I started writing. I wrote almost four pages on that first subject and felt pretty good about it.

It is still a little rough when I read it back now...but it is good and overall I like what I wrote. I will be doing a rewrite of it before I feel it is finalized. I sent that to Heather as well but frankly she has been so busy with photo projects and Moomp Photography business that she hasn't been able to read it. I am OK with that because I know she is still supporting me...and I want to support her in our business.

I felt so good about that first writing that I decided to keep the momentum going...and I picked a second subject on my list. I wrote on that subject as well. This time I got almost through a fifth page. The second subject read even better than the first to me and I am sure I will need to rewrite some of it as well...I have already edited it somewhat and rewritten pieces of it...and I am happy with it's direction. I again told Heather about it but things are the way they are currently with our time and again I understand.

I wanted to keep going and so I again went to my list. I am still interested in everything on it...but nothing jumped out at me this time so I asked myself...what do I want to say right now? I picked a subject not on my list so I added the subject to my list and started to write. I wrote again...almost four pages...and again I was happy with the outcome.

I don't know that any of my subjects are finished yet and I don't have a completed idea of exactly what I am doing with it or specifically where I am going with it but I know that so far...there is a common thread and theme which means that up to this point there is some cohesion.

I am writing a book!

I guess the "subjects" I am writing now could be considered chapters...and frankly I understand that I am going about this in a backwards way...because I am writing chapters before I even have a planned out direction or theme...but I am motivated and feeling good about the work right now. I think that with some of the subjects I chose on my list...and the direction I have in my professional and personal life...I guess I could say I am writing some sort of a self-help book. Pretty closely related to the things I have blogged about.

So for those two of you that like to check in from time to time on my ramblings in this here blog...I will invite you to introduce the idea of reading me in a somewhat different light. In other words...if you like what is written in this blog...maybe you will follow me into a book...where I will ramble on...the way I do...dot dot dot :)

What do you say? Anyone interested?

I just gotta know ;)

Warning...possible vapidity up ahead \;')E)

This is in answer to the comment left on my last post.

Two things.

One:
What's wrong with think is, think is how anxiety is created. Think is how depression is created. Think is how we lose focus on those things that are most important to us. Think leads to over-think and over-think leads to problems...and at times major problems.

This is not to say one should not think...I am not saying that...suffice it to say that thinking is also...as with everything in life...something that one can do too much of and over-thinking can become problematic. Also, as I said in the last blog, thinking overwhelms the space inside us.

Picture...the night sky on a clear night...and of the vastness of that space...but we do not really see that space because we are busy looking at the stars...however because of our infinitely limited perception...we do not perceive the vastness of the space in between them. Because we are somewhat intelligent...we have been successful at creating neat little tricks through gadgets we've invented, to get a glimpse at how the universe might work in reality...but to the naked eye...we do not perceive the vastness of space...we see the foreground which is all the stars that we can actually see.

The same can be said for our lives and our ways of being. There is infinite vastness in space within us, space containing our peace, solitude, and serenity. But to get to that place and perceive the space, we need to shut the hell up.

So...instead of trying to critique the idea...because this is more than an idea...it is our reality...why not try to "DO" what I am describing? Find your space. Sit for 2:00 minutes....heck...try 30 seconds...and not...think. Make yourself....quiet. On the inside.

Unless you have a long vast experience with meditation and mindfulness training...chances are you will not be able to do this. Not without a lot of practice.

Two:
Personal growth is about forward movement. A lack of forward movement equals personal stagnation, therefore personal growth or forward movement is the antithesis of stagnation.

I don't know about anyone else...but I do not want to be stagnant. Being stagnant to me equals being closed, closed minded, and inflexible. As anyone would know from my profile...I like yoga...which means I like to be bendy...thus I do not want or like to be inflexible. This would mean physically, emotionally, spiritually, as well as mentally. Closed mind=closed heart=closed life=no life. Not for me...as for myself...I will choose pushing forward and learning...which all in all...is what personal growth is all about.

Ramblings...

Enter stage right...

I've been waiting for you...

What's the rush?

We have business to discuss...

What's the point? It's not like we're really going anywhere...

It's not about the where...it's about how we travel.

Worlds go by and time travels in still images in our memories but if we are not mindful...mindful of the moment we are in...continuously...then we loose the most important lesson we can internalize...

Mindfulness is difficult at best, especially if a person is fully integrated into their mind...or their "ego" according to Eckhart Tolle, and realistically...who isn't? Shutting the world out is much easier than turning off one's thinking. But if one is to find balance, peace, serenity, and as Tolle puts it...space...then we have to be able to turn off that incessant thinking. It's always something. Always...something.

There are a lot of theories and opinions like most things. But what I ponder on...what I really wonder about...is the depth of my self and that "space" in an ever and ongoing search for personal learning and growth. How finite is that space and how vast it is...is a big question...because when I get glimpses of it, I find it an eye opening and exciting experience, but also a bit frightening. Maybe I just haven't accepted a premise yet but I feel very much like I stand on a threshold looking over something larger than an ocean, and it makes me feel excited and uneasy.

As I lay in bed this morning my mind was racing and it wasn't even light yet...maybe 4:30 AM...and it is Saturday morning...I told myself I don't want to think about that...I don't want to think about that either...give me space...just remember...space...and I could get it for a second or two and another thought would muck it up...and I would either be back thinking about something else or fighting the urge to think about something and searching for space and peace again. I eventually fell back to sleep and I dreamt but I awoke to the same fight...several issues...same problem...stress.

I know that the more I stress...the more I harm myself. I know that I have habits that could and should be bettered. I know that without staying mindful about what I am thinking, what I eat, what I am doing to "do" in my life, what I am planning for, working for, hoping for, and what I am expecting, I will do more to harm myself than help myself.

Mindful about health, mindful about wealth, mindful about how I feel, mindful about my relationships, and mindful about what my focus is on.

When you lose your focus...you have a problem. When you are not mindful...you do not have peace.