A question of choice

The least resistant path is what we often choose...and I am guilty of this as the next person...no high horse here LOL...but often this choice is to our detriment. Not always...but often...we find the path of least resistance...a one way street to something we didn't want...only we didn't know we didn't want it until it was too late...

I have so many experiences in my life that...with hindsight...I look back on and see clearly that I chose to go against my gut...against instinct...and paid a price for it...big or small...

I would think that after a time or two...I would learn to do the right thing....that being...listen to my gut...my instinct...because it does serve me well...and I am often right...but I also...often....don't listen.

I don't know if that instinct is God talking at me or if it is something else...all I do know...is that when I don't follow it...listen to it...I regret it...9 times outta 10.

So why is this such a hard concept to follow and do? If I have a gut feeling about something...why don't I just follow that instinct? It is very much like I don't trust myself. Me says...hmm....

I know all about building trust with others. I teach it and preach it...how to and when to and when not to...learning to trust ones self...though...this is more difficult...and I find...sometimes...I am too close to the situation to see things clearly.

Maybe it is because of all those past mistakes that I am hesitant...looking back on past failures to gauge my ability currently. This seems very inefficient to me and just simply...stupid. I mean....wouldn't it be better to look at past successes and accomplishments to judge myself against? Wouldn't it be more prudent to focus on those strengths and fix my gaze on what is right with what I have done? Wouldn't it be more efficient to concentrate on the step in front of me rather than on constantly going back to my past? I personally think the answer to all 3 questions is a resounding YES!

That is not to say that you should never look at past failures because one can learn from them, to know one's weaknesses so as to create a balance and a path of personal growth, or to examine our history in our lives as we go along our path to better keep the context of our lives in focus as well as the moment...these things are all important...but...success and failure are both teachable moments, opportunities for growth, and a chance to change something in us that is inadequate, dull, or otherwise lacking.

So I assert both perspectives are important...however...which is more important to our growth and further healthy development? In other words, what is more important to focus on? Are we to focus on the past, future, or remain in the present? Is the past a self-indulgent theme and pushes us to overcompensate? Is our future a rich tapestry of possibilities, none of which are real until we actually arrive at that moment? Is our present moment the only thing that truly matters because all that we are and all that we will ever truly be...is...in a moment of time?

As I watch my 4 year old daughter Sarah sleeping this afternoon on our couch...feeling hot with a fever from the flu and recovering from the beginnings of a pneumonia found day before yesterday...and looking like an angel...with Hawaiian music softly playing on the stereo...lulling her into sweet dreams of big mountains, soft breezes, and warm blue and turquoise waters teaming with life...native to all the world and filled with laughter and joy...I have my answer.