As I enter a new year...and a new chapter in my life...I have been reflecting lately on what I want and ultimately where I am headed in my path. Yesterday I woke up in an OK mood...but I decided that I wanted to be happy for this day...no matter what is going on...I WANT to be happy...so I am gonna be. I tell this to myself before I have even risen out of bed...and I continued reinforcing it after I was up...thinking that I am in a good mood and have so much to be grateful for...that I am a happy man.
Ya know what? I was happy...all morning...my wife got up and even asked me what I was so happy about...and I looked at her...lovingly...and told her what I believe with ALL of my heart...and that is....I choose to be happy...being happy is a choice...and I choose to be happy. This is how I started my day.
During my day I heard all about how people's lives are messed up.
Anger...depression...anxiety...medications...a suicide attempt in one case...having less than the support one would want to be happy...all kinds of stuff...and I just kept on working that happiness factor...worked my whole day...tension and constant movement all the day long...lunch was a blur of errands...even after work...a run to the bank before I could get home in enough time to have my wife leave for the evening to hang out with her friends...Harmony do the same...so it was just Sarah Bear and I...but I miss her...so we had a blast...and she turns to me...while sitting in my lap and snuggles in to my chest...and says...I love you...SOOOooo much...
Make my heart melt...I am happy...I am a happy man...
Even with a house that still has a tree branch pierced through the roof and a hole above the garage...even with having to drive a rental car because we had the best beach car I have ever had smashed into being a pick up...even with insurance companies making things difficult for us...and testing our patience...even with both of my kids with Cystic Fibrosis not very healthy and scaring the crap out of me...even with a new job that is overwhelming in so many ways it is a stress factory...and my wife's new job that is effecting her in similar ways...even with glass covering my front yard from the car...even with not having a musical outlet currently in my life...even with my weight problem and the medical problems that it creates and I am currently trying to deal with...and this is just a short list mind you...there is sooo much more...I am a happy man because I have a family...with good...solid...loving people whom I trust...and can trust in me...I am a happy man.
I believe...that diversity of this nature gets heaped upon a person when they are doing well....doing what they are supposed to be doing...in their lives...to help others...because the forces that we fight against work towards our destruction...and our failure...but I also believe...that none of that can be one's reality...unless one allows it...and that...is ALL...attitude.
It is all a choice.
After having this hard...but great day...last night...after the girls are back safely at home and all is well...the show 20/20 comes on...and what are they talking about? Happiness. What does it mean and how does it work? What were their conclusions?
I love it when my words come out of someone else's mouth.
Happiness is a choice they report. Happiness has more to do with attitude and less with genetics or environment. The nature vs nurture debate...the argument in psychological circles goes...that about 50% of who we are and how we get there is made up of our genetics...(nature)...and about 50% of who we are and how we get there is made up of our environment...(nurture)...and on this show...they said in regards to happiness...that 50% is genetic....maybe 10% is environment...and 40% is attitude. You choose your level of happiness and fulfillment. It is up to you. They had a pair of identical twins who tested in very different places on a happiness scale and who run very different lives. The difference then...obviously is not genetic...they have the "same" DNA....it is attitude. Attitude creates one's environment as well...so it is not simply environment...it "is" attitude.
What makes us happy?
A sense of safety and security...and a sense of purpose in and for our lives. It is feeling secure...and feeling fulfilled. A lack of either of these...and one will feel on edge...feel like something is missing. They will search for something to fill the void...be it security or purpose.
So...as I have said in earlier postings...I will choose to be positive and look at the bright side...look at what I think is worth putting my focus on...focus...on putting my house in order...inside first...then my outside...to balance...because this is the flow of life...and the flow of one's life...is how one achieves happiness and balance...
The show also talked about bliss...doing whatever your bliss is...and I have talked about the same in this blog before...although I think I used the word joy. Bliss...good word...I like it...one's bliss...one's joy...different for each of us but the same too...find your bliss...find your joy...and work at that....DO IT!....use whatever that is for you...and balance your life out............create...your...life. If you create a good life....secure and safe...with meaning and purpose...fullfillment....and a positive attitude...you are likely...to be happy. I wish this for everyone who reads this blog....I hope for it myself...and I choose to choose it...in my personal journey.
Namaste
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5 comments:
There is no choice above, beyond, beneath, below, outside what is.
The starkness of reality meets us, at times, headlong. Knocking and shocking distorted perceptions away, causing us to focus on what is. We sublimate.
Acceptance, tolerance and even gratitude for what is… Some of these principles comprise that which may be remarked as happiness. Can we choice to catalog these things as principles? For this, I have.
The pleasant words like happiness, joy and bliss are in existence without being a condition of what is. Rather, as the blogger has pointed out. They represent the principles applied in any given situation, under any and all circumstances. Things that can be good in misfortune, no doubt, yet are not to be compared to a warm bed, loving wife and kind heart for real usefulness and reliability in such circumstances.
Still, a man becomes more, for what he “is” by employing principles in the face of misfortune. As a man, you are a great many things? The one inescapable is responsible.
μπορείτε να βρείτε την άνεση σε όλα τα πράγματα
May you find comfort in all things…
AnonYmouse
How I might have written...or is it wrote?
I would like to write with ingenuousness and honesty. Also, I would like others to reply in kind. So, I can know; what I am lacking, what I need to improve upon, what viewpoints might be shared. However, I don’t need replies of sarcasm, critism and rhetoric. I don’t need to be humbled for having faults. Who is perfect? Certainly, not me… I am so far form perfect, it a joke. Yet, I do need help and support to aid in my personal growth. Two things that can be freely received and given without demeaning fashion. Perhaps, when people are less concerned with themselves and the ego, we can find a common ground. A place to develop a continuing balance to meet the needs of everyone.
'AnonYmouse' thinks you may find inspirations from MYN and the PCH.
http://markyoshimotonemcoff.com/wordsushi/about/
http://markyoshimotonemcoff.com/pch/
MYN …was born in Philadelphia and claims to have become a cynic after finding out the dish ran away with the spoon. In his teens he harbored dreams of becoming a rock and roll guitar god...from Boston’s famed Berklee College of Music...went on to work in the studio with Major Label Grammy and Platinum recording acts like Boyz To Men and Taj Mahal...
After a personal family tragedy caused Mark to revaluate his life, he decided to begin creative writing again, something he hadn’t taken seriously since before he picked up a guitar...
ANONYMOUSE assumes, as does * ‘Deutsch’ that the shaping of productive conflict resolution is very similar to that which involves creative (free) thinking.
Free thinking, has three key elements.
The arousal of an appropriate level of motivation to solve the problem.
The development of the conditions that permit a reassessment to the impasse.
The acceptance of uninhibited and diverse ideas that can be flexibly incorporated into novel and varied shapes.
One may have been offended, one may have had a chord touched, one may simple have misapprehended. AnonYmouse overtly represents opinion, thought, idea, criticism …etc.
To serve as a reminder to the blogger, for the purpose of edification one must consider the opening remarks.
…The intent is to playfully, play the role of the critic with the interest of provoking your intellect, challenging your position and raise your skill…course of discourse, I choose is only beneficial to us both if in fact the true spirit of your invitation is in the manner of the democratic judgment…
CONFLICT
*The Resolution of Conflict by Morton Deutsch
Always give yourself an opportunity to heal, exercise and adjust.
The value in criticisms is only a negative when there is an absence of a positive invention in response.
You are not an instrument to be used in consuming and contain the debris of rage, violence, mindlessness… in order to clear the way to peace, harmony, and acumen.
You are the peacemaker, teaching … in order to clear the way.
The negative residue of the days, weeks, months and year… one has yet to remove!
This has formed a cocoon that is clouding the vision, obscuring reflection and design.
Emergence can happen more then once in a lifetime. And your life is happening now!
We hold back no thing
We give only that which is ours to give
We receive that which we can conceive
We are with you always…
AnonYmouse
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