Marc Malkin said...
TOPICS
Workplace Taboos
Knowledge as function, mechanical function, is necessary. Knowledge, in relationship, in human relationship, is destructive.
Attachment disorder
Since I have spoken on knowledge in a couple of the most previous posts I thought I would add just a bit to it....by this request...just for fun.
Knowledge as function...mechanical function...is necessary. I wholeheartedly agree with this statement as I'm sure anyone who is living in the United States in this day and age probably would. Most of our lives is managed and in even some cases controlled by mechanical function. Vehicles for travel, alarm clocks and watches for being prompt, ovens, refrigerators, and microwaves for feeding ourselves and families, computers for our knowledge, professional pursuits, entertainment, and communication, cell phones, home phones, IPods, TV's, radios, medical tools and functions, power tools, railways, planes, trains, heavy equipment, and on and on...
Just in our medical community alone...the growth, development, and advances that are keeping us as a society and community healthier are adding to not only our collective length of life but also...and in some ways more importantly...the quality of our lives. If one wanders back just a hundred years ago the quality of life has risen dramatically.
Knowledge in relationship...in human relationship...is destructive. This to me is more of a cynical statement...or maybe it is a question...although either way there is some truth in it. It can be destructive. But...even though I do say there is truth in it...I do not believe that the statement...in and of itself...is true. Knowing that your partner is human and fallible is important to being able to "forgive them their trespasses"...to quote a famous prayer.
Knowing a partners personal ideosyncratic peculiarities allows us to be human together and form a true partnership...one based in equality...and of course I am describing a primary relationship. This philisophical statement is also true for friendships and family...professional relationships...and community relationships as well...but it is in the primary relationship with one's significant other that this philosophy is most true.
My personal assertion is that while knowledge can be painful...it is the honest expression from the people with whom you are having these relationships with...that creates open communication...and therefore...is a healthy thing. Be it positive or negative information. No one enjoys being hurt and I think personally if there is something that one believes will hurt someone else they know...especially if it is a close relationship...the information should be handled with care...but I do believe that the old adage "honestly is the best policy"...is true. Now having said that...I also believe the feelings of the person being addressed are very important as well...so there needs to be a balance between expression of opinion and empathy.
But if the "knowledge" is not opinion...but information....as in...I did something that you should know about...then this question filters down to one of personal integrity and quite frankly...my opinion on this subject is rather strong.
If...it is a matter of telling someone of information in which you know will hurt...especially it if is information that involves an act of your own that exemplifies your own "lack of" personal integrity...then it is healthier...to be honest...and start again from a place that is open and clear. It is painful...and can be wrenching...and there is something to be said for timing in when to lay it on the line...but in my opinion...holding back the truth is dishonest, non-authentic, and completely anti-genuine.
One's own personal integrity is really all we as individuals own. We can only...really...be as good as our word and who we are as people...so it is in this frame that your statement holds validity Marc...because if the knowledge we understand...is to be harmful to someone in our lives...the most painfilled truths...are those which involve our own lack of personal integrity. Be it our own act or holding knowledge of anothers...for the purpose of hiding truth from those we care about.
I will say this...there is an arguement for keeping something from someone for the sole and intended purpose of "not" hurting them...and I think we have all...or at least most...done this at some time. There are times when this seems to be valid and...honestly I don't have all the answers as to when this discretion is valid and when it is not...but I do hold that more often than not...the right thing to do...is to be honest...with diplomacy and empathy for the respondants feelings...but all the same...tell the truth.
I have found in my experience and observations...that the lack of truth....is more destructive to relationships...and tears people down. In knowing that the person one thought they could trust to be open and honest...isn't. So...tell the truth.
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20 comments:
Can you please, provide an exmample of positve and negative information?
Hiya Mike...
Positive information could be something like...I really thought the way you handled yourself tonight was inspiring...even though I knew you were angry you didn't lash out at Conny when she said______, but instead you complimented her on her "different" perspective. I was proud of you.
Negative information could be something like...I was disappointed when I heard you call Sheila that name tonight...that was so unlike you and I could see that you really hurt her feelings.
I would also mention...and please take note of both examples I have given here...because they are both instances where I used "I" statements and talked about how "I" felt. I did not point a finger or attack the person...I simply spoke about my feeling concerning two different situations which I would have oberved...but I did so...as I said in the blog...by both telling the truth...AND...trying to be empathetic to how what I was saying would make the listener feel.
I agree with you. That a Lexicon as vast as ours from time, to time, be defined.
And I too, seek the limits of my capacities. I prefer expressing truthful thoughts.
I find truthfulness more important than truth. I see Mega church pastors speak the truth every Sunday.
I find, to speak a truth, is no greater than to speak a lie.
If we talk about self esteem and ones own self-perceptions. Truthfulness would be of the utmost importance.
But all the words above are meaningless.
Unless we share… this sense… a lexicon.
That organizes the mental vocabulary in a speaker's mind: First, it organizes the vocabulary of a language according to certain principles (for instance, all verbs of motion may be linked in a lexical network) and second, it contains a generative device producing (new) simple and complex words according to certain lexical rules.
Figurative language can be full of truth. While simultaneously absent of truthfulness’ and meaning.
wouldn't you agree.
I agree with you. That a Lexicon as vast as ours from time, to time, be defined.
And I too, seek the limits of my capacities. I prefer expressing truthful thoughts.
I find truthfulness more important than truth. I see Mega church pastors speak the truth every Sunday.
I find, to speak a truth, is no greater than to speak a lie.
If we talk about self esteem and ones own self-perceptions. Truthfulness would be of the utmost importance.
But all the words above are meaningless.
Unless we share… this sense… a lexicon.
That organizes the mental vocabulary in a speaker's mind: First, it organizes the vocabulary of a language according to certain principles (for instance, all verbs of motion may be linked in a lexical network) and second, it contains a generative device producing (new) simple and complex words according to certain lexical rules.
Figurative language can be full of truth. While simultaneously absent of truthfulness’ and meaning.
For example: when I wrote the words below.
I kind’ a like what you say… are kind’ like my own voice being heard above the crowd. My perfection and most glorious sound
It is how that sounds emanating from me and dissident upon the crowd flowing emanating into the crowd. Does it emanate from me?
Yes…it does. It is how my live sound was or is… it a Memorex copy of a past utterance?
It is how I take the motive…and ever recall the present. I recall the present?
No, it is the past utterance. Is it how I perceive the sound that makes it present, loud and full of depth? And never like what is heard from you.
I held one intention. That was to oppose (opposite) the words you had used in your writing (see below). But, in that there was no meaning. That is to say, I simple started with a rhythmic verse. Then I mentally perceived the rest.
For example: “How is it that when standing…” I changed to “It is how that sound emanating…”
“How is it…” asks a question. What is the opposite of a question? An answer, so I wrote: “It is how…”
I just continued of in this manner without regard, or intention to meaning. Or to truthfulness, or anything other then the inversion.
Look for yourself, closely. You will notice the pattern. I copied and skewed.
The figurative language can be absolutely absent of meaning. Not unlike an artist who creates and looks for meaning in the creation.
Because, I know that readers will bring there own meaning.
Most of the things we think we know...are things we take in through our abilities to perceive the world...our imperfect and often fallible senses. How is it that when standing on a set of railroad tracks...and gazing down the tracks towards the horizon...the tracks seem to converge? Do they converge? No...they do not. How is it that our memory of an event differs from a picture taken from it or a video long since forgotten which documented the memory? How is it that with given the right stimulus...we human beings remember things that never happened? Can we create pseudo-memories? Yes...we can...and we fully believe them. How can it be...that what things we hear...smell...taste...touch...and see...can so often be so different than the exact same things experienced by another standing right next to us?
I am impressed. You have clarified the speaker's voice. And the importance that it play's in conversation.
How would you define the example on negative information if expressed this way... You were a disappointment! I heard you call Sheila that name...your crazy and have no regard for others.
Hiya Mike...
I would have to say that response would be harsh...emotionally reactive….and bordering on abusive…
Name calling is never…ever OK…I know it goes on between couples as well as other relationships but really…if one has to resort to name calling…it is because one do not have anything better to argue with…so one goes back to third grade…I know you are but what am I?…you are! You are! This is not mature, respectful, or productive.
This is a perfect example of what is called emotional reactivity…the reaction is purely emotional….not at all rational…and therefore will not be heard by the person it is being leveled at…because it is disrespectful. When was the last time you were disrespected…and actually listened to the person disrespecting you? LOL…It simply doesn’t work that way…
It is better to respect one’s self…by respecting another.
I have greatly enjoyed our discourse. Likewise you have inspired my spirit.
I have been remiss in respoding to your questions.
The five questions you put forward.
1. ) "...You don't actually believe...that we as human beings know much....do you? Really?!? That we as human beings know much....do you? Really?!?"
I have occasion to place my confidence in another. Yes, there is much that I know. I seek to find the limits and expand what we know. Yes, really !!!
2.)"...How come we can't cure the common cold...?"
I recall your profile and it didn’t list expertise in medicine. That is to say, you and I have not mad that attempt.
3.)"...Do any of us truly know what is right...do you? Do I...?"
Yes, and perhaps you do.
4.) "...how much do we really know...?"
That the process we are in...You already asked this in the first question. But since I’m here. I will answer in this manner.
I know more then we previously did. So, logically “we know more” holds true, so long as your perceptiveness’ has not diminished.
5.) Who doesn't like a good friendly challenge?
Those that are rooted in there beliefs.
“…But if the "knowledge" is not opinion...but information....as in...I did something that you should know about...then this question filters down to one of personal integrity and quite frankly...my opinion on this subject is rather strong….”
Knowledge as opinion
Knowledge as information
Knowledge as Fact
Question: Reading the “ Response to two…too..”
Did you have it in mind to exemplify the subject of judgement ?
I have searched the dictionaries for the meaning of “personal integrity”.
Here again, you exemplify my requests … my plea’s for rehtoric
… too be clear in expressing meaning, ideas, thought…
The individual words are defined. Yet, in this instance, once palced side by side a meaning other than what is defined has been created. Yes?
And how is it that I should understand, take in, and learn your meaning?
We can only “be as good as our word” … I am familiar with this idiom. "The tree is known by its fruits." But, before I proceed to share in the understanding. Let us be clear in the WAY to create understanding. To distingish the meaning with the WORD.
THE WORD
…Is placed within the deep dark recesses and corners
To work at changing
Until the end
To shape, guide, restore
The will of humanity
Is once again at stake
Once again lost
And placed within the deep dark recess and corner is…
Babe...
I have a question. What do you think the reason is for some people to want to dissect every paragraph, sentence, word, letter (and whatever comes next) to the point of silliness as a way of deflecting the obvious meaning of the original statement? I suspect fear.
What do you think?
Just curious.
Again, I appologize…
For those of us to whom grammar school is a distant memory, a little basic English review is needed.
What you have employed … in rhetoric is known as syntactic ambiguity.
For example: Ramesh argues:
1. Nothing is better than eternal happiness.
2. Eating a hamburger is better than nothing.
3. Therefore, eating a hamburger is better than eternal happiness.
Wouldn't you prefer a nice game of chess?
I disagree Anonymous...
The fallacy is one of Cause and Effect.
Confusing Cause and Effect is a fallacy that has the following general form:
1. A and B regularly occur together.
2. Therefore A is the cause of B.
This fallacy requires that there is not, in fact, a common cause that actually causes both A and B.
“"Inconceivable." You keep saying that WORD. I do not think it means what you think it means. LOL
Babe,
Do you understand this person?
I shall try once more ...
Logic algorithm, consider:
“The mouse died”
“The mouse that the cat chased died”
“The mouse that the cat that the dog bit chased died”
Grammatical, not ambiguous, whats the problem?
Memory load: too high for centre embedding
“[The mouse[the cat[the dog bit]chased]died]”
Anonymous? Why don't you be who YOU are? Why do you choose instead to be something that YOU are not? These are not your words, you copy and paste them - where are YOU?
Just wonderin'
Better yet,
Let me ask Sara Bear,
"Please, put the block in the box on the table."
What would you interpret that to mean?
Anonymous,
After finding the same (or similar) website you did, the answer could be interpreted one of two ways:
a) Put the block[in the box on the table]
b. Put the [block in the box] on the table
But now, a question for you, which I know before I type it that you will not answer, but instead you will find a question from wikipedia and try to disguise that as your answer instead. Still scared to be you and instead wanting to hide you as much as possible.
Why do you stay in the argument of language instead of allowing yourself to learn from experiencing new thoughts and perceptions?
You presuppose the answer.
I'm learning and you have made it a joyful experience.
However, I have difficulty understanding some, most, maybe all of what has been written. So, to take them piece by piece and ask simple and specific questions…”is silly…”?
To give example of how I interpret… is fear..
You find an argument… or the question… irritating?
Just wonderin’
I hope this helps…
There is a habit of presupposing your ideas’.
For example, the question; “Why don’t you be who YOU are?”
But, I will not place the spotlight on introspection on this question.
There is an attempt to be more than the center of ones own attention.
And none to hold someone else down. That wouldn’t be nice.
I agree with you assertion that …these words are not my words…
I place no ownership on the words that comprise the English language.
No the rules that govern there usage in order to convey thought.
I will take ownership of my thoughts and ideas. Rather, than think I am just replicating. I am using the words placed before us and putting them to purpose.
Where am I? Right here in the dark recesses and corners your mind…soon to be a memory…
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