Truth...an interesting point.

So....this week...I really pissed someone off. I didn't exactly mean to...it's...at times...just the nature of what I do and the way I do it. See...in a way...I tell the truth to people for a living. I make great efforts to do this with understanding, empathy, diplomacy, and caring. Generally this is taken well by people even if it is not what someone wants to hear...and this is often the case. But most of the time, people in general, appreciate hearing a truth. It gives the opportunity for personal growth.

However, there are times where I feel I have to tell someone something that they need to hear...but yet they are just simply not ready for receiving the information. At times, such as this situation above, there is often an emotional reaction, emotional reactivity, and my role in the drama is being the instigator. I am not particularly excited with having to implement this role...but I can take it on when I need to. Confrontation isn't my natural state however I am more than comfortable with confrontation when the time calls for it. My experience has been that most people do not like confrontation...but when confronted with a truth...they are open to seeing a different path...at least to some degree. From there it is all just about planting seeds.

Now...I have used the term truth several times here...and have written about this in the past so I would invite the reader to check out another of my blogs from the past in dealing with truth.

http://thethoughtlounge.blogspot.com/2007/06/momentstruthand-being-in-now.html

This of course does not cover the subject and is incomplete so I will first and foremost freely make this admission. What is written in this past blog holds the core of what I am describing above, however it is quite incomplete.

A truth is as one sees it and is a matter of personal perception. With that said I will also say that there does exist some universal truth within the context of our individual lives as well as collectively, and while valid philosophical arguments can be made against this, the reality of perception connects most of us to a gathering of information and agreement.

A flame is hot. Ice is cold. The sun describes day. The moon describes night. Yes...it is our five senses that provide us with this information and can not therefore be fully trusted...so holding a burning ember in your bare hand for 5 minutes...take a nice 5 mile stroll walking in snow in January with bare feet...dipping your bare feet in boiling oil....hmm?...You don't want to? Could it possibly be that you know better? Fear getting injured? This would be a justified fear. That this would be a justified fear...is a truth. A truth because of the likelihood of the injury. While the argument of a philosopher is an interesting theoretical exercise...any rational person would doubt the mental stability of anyone actually trying these exercises. Truth.

These examples are simplistic and even juvenile yet they are examples of basic agreements that we have all come to hold as truths. Even the most cynical and ardent philosophers abide by these same evident truths in their daily existence while railing against the idea of such a thing intellectually and academically. The exercise of thought. The concept of time is just as universal. The proof is in the behaviors of the cynic. While fighting tooth and nail against the very idea of time being a truth to us collectively...the truth actually is...that academic is there at work at 8:00 AM to teach his/her class or he/she is not paying their mortgage that month. The argument is simply an exercise in intellectual thought...but not in practice. Not in behavior. Not real. But interesting nonetheless.

So truth...is quite an interesting concept...and yet I believe truth has shades of gray itself. Are there absolute truths? I personally believe that there is very little in our lives that is black and white. Most of life is a shade of gray. However I do believe that absolutes do exist...albeit in very short supply. But it isn't in the extremes that I want to linger. I think the more interesting conversation is in the battleground of the agreed upon truths. Those not out on the fringe but the more debatable, yet still strongly held opinions, which can lead to healthy debate and personal growth. One of these subjects, to me, is respect. I have written about this in the past. Again I invite the reader to this past blog.

http://thethoughtlounge.blogspot.com/2007/06/respect.html

My explanation of respect always includes self-respect...and it was in this conversation that I angered someone earlier this week. It is interesting to me that the same words can have such diverse affects on different people. With one person it caused a flash of anger and they burst from their seat and out of the room and building. They...were...done! LOL.

Another person cried, laughed, and asked for a hug. It is interesting that people are so individual in their growth, thoughts, and ideas...as well as reactions...to the same information. Does it make the information less true because one person could hear it and one person could not? I do not believe it changes the truth of the assertion...I do believe it speaks to an individual's ability to hear the truth or to accept a truth. But it doesn't necessarily make that truth less of a truth.

A common assertion regarding respect...is...I will respect you if you respect me first...but if you are gonna disrespect me...I am going to disrespect you back. This is very common and I have two names for this mentality.

The first is "the warrior's mentality". It is and has been the mentality of warriors...the people who war with each other...as in real war. This point of view was developed through survival and therefore is valid within the framework of violence. For as long as human beings have registered their history and I am sure beyond...this mentality has existed and in those areas prone to violence as a way of life, it will most likely and unfortunately continue to exist. It is protectionism and defense. Purely survival. While it is understandable how it came into existence...it is also understandable how useless it is when analyzing an individual's personal growth. This attitude suppresses an individual's ability to truly grow. It is about power and control. It is about physical strength...with no intellect, understanding, or empathy.

The second name is "a pen mentality". Pen as in penitentiary. This is the way that human beings treat each other in prison. This same population considers themselves as soldiers and so the core of this mentality is the same. That same mentality filters out into the street through thugs and gangs...billy bad asses and alcoholic individuals unable to get their life's struggles under control...immaturity and the sheep mentality when individual's do not value themselves more than simply fitting in with a crowd...as well as some of the mentally ill. There are more categories of course...I am simplifying for the purposes of this post...but there are more.

Suffice it to say...this is all without self-respect as I have described it in the above mentioned blog.

Respect is earned. But self-respect is earned and hard fought for as well. Someone who acts under the definitions above...who is living in our society and not in a hot...forward area...defending our country...does not and should not be living with a warrior's or a pen mentality. It is simply not necessary and more so it is harmful to the individual as well as our communities for each of us to allow ourselves to reduce ourselves to these poor ways of being in the world. It is absolutely a reduction as a human being to view our world like this because it justifies inhuman behavior. Behavior that is illegal, immoral, undignified, corrupt, and disrespectful.

It takes more guts...more bravery...more courage...to hold your personal integrity intact and retain your self-respect by not allowing yourself to be degraded and reducing your belief and behavior to actions brought on by these faulty belief systems. We should instead rise above petty immature and inane feuding and treat each other the way we should be treating each other...with dignity and respect. It takes more to be more. It does not take much to revel in degradation. This attitude and belief is shallow and unfulfilling. One will never be their full potential as a human being by embracing violence and pride. I guess it comes down to what one wants in their life...and if one does not care for ones self...one will hurt others...and thereby themselves...because they will be ignorant of being any better.

I do find it interesting that so many of us can be so truncated in our own ability to develop. Of course I am not above the warriors or pen mentality. I lived a good portion of my life from the same direction and therefore I am not speaking from some lofty perch. However...I learned to do better...and learned to live better...and learned to believe in a better way. Truth.

I guess part of things is just about maturity. For in my younger years when I was a scrapper and came from the same mentality...I saw, said, and did things that I would never do in the same way now. Truth.

Interesting how truth works...
Truth.