A terrible tragedy

I am only posting on this blog to say....(and to point to my other blog which has a bit more info)...that I am so profoundly sorry for the loss that Gina, Walt, & family are suffering right now. Please put them in your prayers and send good thoughts as well as some well wishes to them. I can not even imagine what G is going through right now...and for the last almost week...

These are not thoughts to dwell on...except to say that we all need to appreciate those we have in our lives...and remember to act on this consistantly...so that we love (read love = act, action, verb) each other...

May God bless us all...and help us to remember and love each other...

James....you will be remembered.

Happiness...

As I enter a new year...and a new chapter in my life...I have been reflecting lately on what I want and ultimately where I am headed in my path. Yesterday I woke up in an OK mood...but I decided that I wanted to be happy for this day...no matter what is going on...I WANT to be happy...so I am gonna be. I tell this to myself before I have even risen out of bed...and I continued reinforcing it after I was up...thinking that I am in a good mood and have so much to be grateful for...that I am a happy man.

Ya know what? I was happy...all morning...my wife got up and even asked me what I was so happy about...and I looked at her...lovingly...and told her what I believe with ALL of my heart...and that is....I choose to be happy...being happy is a choice...and I choose to be happy. This is how I started my day.

During my day I heard all about how people's lives are messed up.

Anger...depression...anxiety...medications...a suicide attempt in one case...having less than the support one would want to be happy...all kinds of stuff...and I just kept on working that happiness factor...worked my whole day...tension and constant movement all the day long...lunch was a blur of errands...even after work...a run to the bank before I could get home in enough time to have my wife leave for the evening to hang out with her friends...Harmony do the same...so it was just Sarah Bear and I...but I miss her...so we had a blast...and she turns to me...while sitting in my lap and snuggles in to my chest...and says...I love you...SOOOooo much...

Make my heart melt...I am happy...I am a happy man...

Even with a house that still has a tree branch pierced through the roof and a hole above the garage...even with having to drive a rental car because we had the best beach car I have ever had smashed into being a pick up...even with insurance companies making things difficult for us...and testing our patience...even with both of my kids with Cystic Fibrosis not very healthy and scaring the crap out of me...even with a new job that is overwhelming in so many ways it is a stress factory...and my wife's new job that is effecting her in similar ways...even with glass covering my front yard from the car...even with not having a musical outlet currently in my life...even with my weight problem and the medical problems that it creates and I am currently trying to deal with...and this is just a short list mind you...there is sooo much more...I am a happy man because I have a family...with good...solid...loving people whom I trust...and can trust in me...I am a happy man.

I believe...that diversity of this nature gets heaped upon a person when they are doing well....doing what they are supposed to be doing...in their lives...to help others...because the forces that we fight against work towards our destruction...and our failure...but I also believe...that none of that can be one's reality...unless one allows it...and that...is ALL...attitude.

It is all a choice.

After having this hard...but great day...last night...after the girls are back safely at home and all is well...the show 20/20 comes on...and what are they talking about? Happiness. What does it mean and how does it work? What were their conclusions?

I love it when my words come out of someone else's mouth.

Happiness is a choice they report. Happiness has more to do with attitude and less with genetics or environment. The nature vs nurture debate...the argument in psychological circles goes...that about 50% of who we are and how we get there is made up of our genetics...(nature)...and about 50% of who we are and how we get there is made up of our environment...(nurture)...and on this show...they said in regards to happiness...that 50% is genetic....maybe 10% is environment...and 40% is attitude. You choose your level of happiness and fulfillment. It is up to you. They had a pair of identical twins who tested in very different places on a happiness scale and who run very different lives. The difference then...obviously is not genetic...they have the "same" DNA....it is attitude. Attitude creates one's environment as well...so it is not simply environment...it "is" attitude.

What makes us happy?

A sense of safety and security...and a sense of purpose in and for our lives. It is feeling secure...and feeling fulfilled. A lack of either of these...and one will feel on edge...feel like something is missing. They will search for something to fill the void...be it security or purpose.

So...as I have said in earlier postings...I will choose to be positive and look at the bright side...look at what I think is worth putting my focus on...focus...on putting my house in order...inside first...then my outside...to balance...because this is the flow of life...and the flow of one's life...is how one achieves happiness and balance...

The show also talked about bliss...doing whatever your bliss is...and I have talked about the same in this blog before...although I think I used the word joy. Bliss...good word...I like it...one's bliss...one's joy...different for each of us but the same too...find your bliss...find your joy...and work at that....DO IT!....use whatever that is for you...and balance your life out............create...your...life. If you create a good life....secure and safe...with meaning and purpose...fullfillment....and a positive attitude...you are likely...to be happy. I wish this for everyone who reads this blog....I hope for it myself...and I choose to choose it...in my personal journey.

Namaste

A Final Thought for 2007...

In this last year we have seen so much...had so many differing experiences...that in some ways it is dizzying to me because of the variety and depth...

There has been such extreme negativity and such pain...and yet...in the last year...there has been such enormous prevailing hope and continuity of the human spirit...there has been such depth, courage, love, understanding, and guileless optimism...I find it difficult to find fault in where we are headed...even with plenty of blame to spread around...I see a bright future...although realistically I also see major changes in our near future collectively.

I have found in my own search a profound need to be centered on meaning. To find the things in my world and perception that need....NEED....my attention...my focus...my thought...my depth...

I have written about several of these subjects in this blog. I have focused on the things that have struck me as profound and I have spent my time and my energy on thoughts and assertions that I deemed worth my energy. Again I will state that this is a forum for my own thought and attempt at wisdom...or at the very least a desire for and search towards thought and understanding that will lead to growth.

I have been in the business of instruction, advising, and guidance....for many years now. I am at least fairly good at it...not as good as some...better than others....good days...bad days...and basically....from a profoundly fundamental standpoint...I am just passing on those things I know...or at least...seem to understand ...to stay in line with an earlier blog. But if you have been reading me...listening...paying attention....you will have noticed one foundational theme with my writing. I work from the position of optimism and positive perspective.

Even in questions of and conversations dealing with negativity...I still attempt to put a positive spin on my perspective...because quite frankly...I do not see...nor do I find...any worth or value...in negativism...skepticism...rhetoric...critique...for each of their own sakes...the only time each of these things even might find value...to my perception...is when it is used as a teaching tool...but these things being used as tools...MUST...have an underlying lesson...foundational idea...a message...a...meaning...because if there is no foundation...no message...no....meaning...then skepticism...rhetoric...critique...have no purpose...no real voice...and therefore are being presented as nothing more than antagonism...and this...is utterly useless. There is no lesson. There is no message. There is no meaning. It is truly...a waste of time.

Why...would any person...choose...to waste their time...in this fashion...is beyond my understanding. I choose not to. If I write something here...in this place...it is for a reason and a purpose...there is a message...and a meaning. Now there can certainly be debate in how useful, needed, or wanted these meanings and messages might be. I do not claim to be profound. I only assert that some of the things I have written have been profound to me. But in everything I have tried to get across...I have worked at placing a purpose at the heart of my intention. A meaning...and a reason.

I will continue to do so in the years to come.

Regardless of what debate might lead to...I am certain...within myself...that I am approaching everything I do in my life...with a reason...an intention...an assertion...and therefore a meaning. Even meaningless activities contain meaning for me at this point. I view even those seemingly mundane things previously viewed as purposeless activities, as purposeful in that I need to vent stress and often that can be done in activities that from the outside seem pointless.

But in everything...there is a point. In everything...there is a reason. I may not even understand what the reason is...because I am so far from omnipotent...it's a joke. But there is a reason. Even in those things that are most often viewed as tragic...one does not heal from them...or even accept them...until one can see the growth from it...and therefore put it into a positive light.

Those that are forever wounded by an event...and never heal...are like that because they can not accept...and can not reframe it into a positive in their own lives and perceptions. They just get stuck.

Therefore...there is no point in finding fault...there is no purpose in finding blame...there is no value...in searching for what is wrong....the only truly valuable thing there is ultimately...is in finding how to take something...and see the light in it...to find the good...to sift and search...and find that which is the lesson...and learn from it...so that one may heal...and move forward...and move on...

This...is my mission...and this...is my purpose.

May 2008 be even more awesome and carry with it more growth and depth than the year past. God bless you to every eye that reads these words and ear that hears the message.

A thought...

How is a thought tied to so much that we own and so much meaning that we take on? Is it that we are simply what we think? Are we that simple or is it deeper than simple reflection?

If we think about something it affects us...meaning how we feel. If we feel something then it will change our perception. Our behaviour is challenged and changed by what we feel as well as what we think. So if we think something then it can change how we feel as well as how we behave.

So...what we think...really...is who we are. If one simply concentrates on ideas and opinions....perceptions and points of view...we will begin to see who we are...because who we are is in what we think.

Unfortunately...most of us do not live by this understanding and are not careful with our thoughts. We allow negativity, suspicion, stress, frustration, resentment, and immaturity to rule our minds. The person that we hurt the most in doing this is ourselves. Can we truly be honest and respectful in our lives if we allow these negative and destructive paths to lead us?

I truly believe that we need to focus on the things that bring us to our joy.

The problem for many is...they do not even know what their joy...even is. So the question is...how do you discover your joy? If you already know what your joy is...then the quest is how do you participate in your joy? What will it take for you to be happy?

This is a good question because we quite often approach our lives with a get-me-by attitude. But searching for your joy and focusing on being happy are not easy things to do. Attaining the balance needed to be truly happy is a great deal of work and therefore not easy...but it is worth it...because ultimately...balance...is the best way to finding peace...and finding peace...inside oneself....finding balance...is about finding one's joy.

Something to think about...

I heard a quote today which struck me. I was listening to Deepak Chopra talking about Buddha's teachings and a new book that the good Dr. just wrote titled: Buddha: A Story of Enlightenment. Sounds like a good book...

He said, "a philosophy...that remains a philosophy....is worthless".

Of all the different things that we can look at and discuss...of all the different perspectives that we may take on and debate...of all the principles that we can relate to and grow from...

...it is the depth and breadth of understanding...of one's personal journey...individual growth...and lone path...to know one's self...and...how we integrate into our consciousness...being a part of a system that is so much bigger than we are as an individual...and no matter how we transition through the thoughts, ideas, and moments of our journey...that we will forever be a part of a larger system of life and consciousness...and our goal...our goal in this....

Our goal is to get it...to really get it...

How many of us really do? Really get it...

To see that how we react to a system affects a system...which has an effect on a system. We are permanently impermanent...and just as we are never to own the same moment twice...other than through memory...we will always be a cause for an affect to someone else in the system...which will have an effect on them...which will cause them to pass their affect on to someone else in the system...which will cause an effect on that third party...and so on.

How can we travel through our lives mindlessly affecting...and effecting our system...and take no accountability for this? How can we create such waves and wakes in our system and not be aware to their effects? Are we really people of depth and quality...substance and integrity...love and empathy...if we treat our participation in our system as if we are in the dark and no one can see?

Participation is happening whether one wants to or not just by the nature of the system...because even apathy or dissociating from the system creates an effect. There is a shadow to us all...and we need to be aware of our shadow...because there are things lurking there that can harm us...and harm others...and the fact is...if one stands in the light...there is a shadow...it is only when one stands in the darkness that there is no shadow...but what is the value of staying in one's darkness?...and how will one ever know one's self...if one stays in their own darkness...

Some Interesting Quotes...

I came across some interesting quotes that...well...frankly...support many of the assertions I have made in several of my blogs...and these things I believe to be true...at least I can say they ring with truth to me...enjoy.

Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk.
Carl Jung

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
Buddha <--This one is Mindfulness

A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.
Abraham Maslow

Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment.
Lao Tzu

As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.
Socrates

The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Mohandas Gandhi

Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others.
Plato

You shape your own destiny.
Chet Atkins

All difficult things have their origin in that which is easy, and great things in that which is small.
Lao Tzu

Conflict cannot survive without your participation.
Wayne Dyer

A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.
Buddha

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
Carl Jung

We all have a social mask, right? We put it on, we go out, put our best foot forward, our best image. But behind that social mask is a personal truth, what we really, really believe about who we are and what we're capable of.
Phil McGraw

It's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are our teachers - they help us to learn.
John Bradshaw

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
Carl Jung

The unexamined life is not worth living.
Socrates

Everything you are against weakens you. Everything you are for empowers you.
Wayne Dyer

He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty.
Lao Tzu

All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
Buddha <--This one is Systems Theory

I eventually gave up being an analyst. You had to be too passive and not speak up.
Albert Ellis

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
Wayne Dyer

Character may almost be called the most effective means of persuasion.
Aristotle

Years from now, after I'm gone, someone will listen to what I've done and know I was here. They may not know or care who I was, but they'll hear my guitars speaking for me.
Chet Atkins

Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Action expresses priorities.
Mohandas Gandhi

True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us.
Socrates

He who knows others is clever; He who knows himself has discernment.
Lao Tzu

Education is the best provision for old age.
Aristotle

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.
Lao Tzu

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Plato

It is better to travel well than to arrive.
Buddha

Man's heart away from nature becomes hard.
Standing Bear

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.
Buddha

Be the change that you want to see in the world.
Mohandas Gandhi

A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.
Lao Tzu

Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world.
Mother Teresa

If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.
Lao Tzu

Be careful for what you are shooting for...because you are likely to hit it.
Doc Mompean <--OK OK...I couldn't resist throwing one of my own quotes in LOL

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Change in all things is sweet.
Aristotle

If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve.
Lao Tzu

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is a habit.
Socrates

In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Wisdom begins in wonder.
Socrates

At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.
Lao Tzu

What do you think?

The rhetorical question...

The American Heritage dictionary cites a rhetorical question as being: A question to which no answer is expected.

The same dictionary also defines rhetoric as: 1. The art or study of using language effectively and persuasively. 2. A style of speaking or writing. 3. Language that is pretentous or insincere.

Having a definition is a great place to start with a journey...

About this term...I will be clear here...I personally am not interested in being pretentous nor am I interested in being insincere. There is no value in this to me and I have no interest in my being in the world through either of these lenses.

I am interested in the art of using language effectively and pursuasively...but in my opinion...effectively and persuasively actually includes definition and meaning in what is being said...otherwise it is essentially...simply...talking without actually saying anything...and quite frankly....what is the point of simply blowing wind?

I am more interested in depth...and I think my postings attempt to do this...and I will continue to pursue doing the same...

So...rhetorical questions...are really just for making a point...but they are not really a way of discussing anything of depth, personal value, or meaning...because by definition...one is not looking for an answer...or to use an old adage...one can not see the forrest for the trees.

How does one define integrity? A personal definition?...

Again the same dictionary defines integrity as: 1. Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code. 2. Soundness. 3. Completeness; unity.

So...personal integrity...it should include the above definition...and be added to because it is personal...of course this is my opinon. But it is a deep question...because most people are not honest with them selves...much less being honest with their wife/husband....children....parents...siblings...employer...so how much personal integrity is one living with if one isn't even the least of what qualifies unity and completeness? Soundness? Morality or ethical codes? How much self respect is one living with if one does not have personal integrity? These are not....rhetorical questions...they are deep....meaningful...respectfilled personal questions that....again in my humble opinion....should be asked by every individual...and not just asked...but answered.

What does it mean in your life? What defines your personal integrity? What defines your self respect? How closely are you living up to what you think you should be doing? Are you close...or are you still searching for what this is...in your own life?

Language is important...and usuage of language is important...but if it does not contain meaning...then...well...what are we doing that has any real importance or value? Where is the personal growth? I would invite the reader to read one of my older posts. http://thethoughtlounge.blogspot.com/2007/05/meaning-making-machines.html

Personally...I am interested in my own growth as a person...my own development...my ability to understand depth...not simply rules...the lessons of the ten thousand things...and the letting those ten thousand things go...to again refer to and quote a very old text.

Namaste