The Thought Lounge

In the current...keeping one's head above water.

2011-03-18T09:08:00.001-07:00

I started this blog with an intention and a point.

The intention was to put what I believe and I think out there to the universe and share it with the world while inviting some discourse and sharing of ideas with anyone who cared.

The point was to teach lessons...from my perspective of course...and share what I could with any of you who may read this, as well as maybe learn something from anyone who cared to chime in. Turns out not very many wanted to chime in except for one...and that was fun...but I was kinda hoping for others to give input and teach as well as give opinions...thus the name of the blog.

I have not written in this blog for a good long time...I missed 2010 altogether LOL. There has been much in my life that has left me feeling very much the student rather than the teacher in the last year plus...and looking back...I think that is a poor excuse...albeit understandable.

I and my family have been through a great deal in the last year plus...which if you are interested in...I would invite you to read about in my other blog (link is to the right)...but suffice it to say last year we have had my son who is 27 currently go through a double lung transplant and two subsequent surgeries and in and out of the hospital more times than I can count, the birth of our youngest child (and my last) Elijah, a benefit concert that allowed me to meet, perform with, and spend a day with my favorite guitarist in the world Phil Keaggy, our daughter start kindergarten, me complete my hours for my license and test only to fail by 7 questions and have to wait 6 months to try again, and me getting back into playing music professionally in a big way...plus a whole lot more.

So I should have been blogging all along and I feel bad about not writing because I know writing helps...so I apologize for hiding out and turtling...but I am back now and I intend to get better at keeping both blogs up.

Today my son is attending college and much more healthy, my youngest son will be 6 months old in 2 days from now, and I am plunging back into study to retake my first test for my license, and I am playing in 2 bands and gigging again. Like always there is drama...my wife will likely lose her job this year because of budget cuts and we are going to take a big hit until she can find another job...but there is a part of that which I feel grateful for...it is hard...and it is scary...but I do have faith that God will show us the way and take care of us...help us to take care of ourselves...and hopefully take care of others while we are at it.

As far as this blog is concerned...consistently the most viewed lesson that I have written...or blog if you will...is one written about "meaning making machines". I get hits from that title from all over the world and I have to say the concept and idea comes from Landmark Forum which I attended many years ago. I used the information in my daily life and teach it to others through classrooms, groups, and individual and family counseling. Along with Systems Theory it is one of the more important concepts I have written about. I did want to address this though considering I didn't give credit where credit is due in the earlier blog...so I do this now.

My hope...is that with learning and growth, development and forward movement, we will all begin to be better to each other and ourselves. All in due time...

A question of choice

2009-11-08T11:44:00.000-08:00

The least resistant path is what we often choose...and I am guilty of this as the next person...no high horse here LOL...but often this choice is to our detriment. Not always...but often...we find the path of least resistance...a one way street to something we didn't want...only we didn't know we didn't want it until it was too late...

I have so many experiences in my life that...with hindsight...I look back on and see clearly that I chose to go against my gut...against instinct...and paid a price for it...big or small...

I would think that after a time or two...I would learn to do the right thing....that being...listen to my gut...my instinct...because it does serve me well...and I am often right...but I also...often....don't listen.

I don't know if that instinct is God talking at me or if it is something else...all I do know...is that when I don't follow it...listen to it...I regret it...9 times outta 10.

So why is this such a hard concept to follow and do? If I have a gut feeling about something...why don't I just follow that instinct? It is very much like I don't trust myself. Me says...hmm....

I know all about building trust with others. I teach it and preach it...how to and when to and when not to...learning to trust ones self...though...this is more difficult...and I find...sometimes...I am too close to the situation to see things clearly.

Maybe it is because of all those past mistakes that I am hesitant...looking back on past failures to gauge my ability currently. This seems very inefficient to me and just simply...stupid. I mean....wouldn't it be better to look at past successes and accomplishments to judge myself against? Wouldn't it be more prudent to focus on those strengths and fix my gaze on what is right with what I have done? Wouldn't it be more efficient to concentrate on the step in front of me rather than on constantly going back to my past? I personally think the answer to all 3 questions is a resounding YES!

That is not to say that you should never look at past failures because one can learn from them, to know one's weaknesses so as to create a balance and a path of personal growth, or to examine our history in our lives as we go along our path to better keep the context of our lives in focus as well as the moment...these things are all important...but...success and failure are both teachable moments, opportunities for growth, and a chance to change something in us that is inadequate, dull, or otherwise lacking.

So I assert both perspectives are important...however...which is more important to our growth and further healthy development? In other words, what is more important to focus on? Are we to focus on the past, future, or remain in the present? Is the past a self-indulgent theme and pushes us to overcompensate? Is our future a rich tapestry of possibilities, none of which are real until we actually arrive at that moment? Is our present moment the only thing that truly matters because all that we are and all that we will ever truly be...is...in a moment of time?

As I watch my 4 year old daughter Sarah sleeping this afternoon on our couch...feeling hot with a fever from the flu and recovering from the beginnings of a pneumonia found day before yesterday...and looking like an angel...with Hawaiian music softly playing on the stereo...lulling her into sweet dreams of big mountains, soft breezes, and warm blue and turquoise waters teaming with life...native to all the world and filled with laughter and joy...I have my answer.

Listen first

2009-07-26T20:33:00.000-07:00

I am a firm believer in only making threats that are fully intended on being kept. In other words if you are a person that could not use a weapon against another...even if you carried one...then you should never carry one.

If you are someone that is unsure if you could use a weapon against someone else...but you carry one anyway...you would have to make that decision in a split second as to whether or not it is actually possible for you...which is an unwise position to put oneself in.

If you are someone that is quite sure...given the circumstances...that this is very real and possible for you to do...then this is a reality for you and you have decided it to be so.

I believe that you should never pull a weapon on someone unless you fully intend on using it...or at least are ready to if need be.

It is interesting to me how people often do not consider consequences in their lives when it comes to their words and behaviors. Many times people will put themselves out there and at risk...in ways that they may not even realize that they are doing. Sometimes they put others at risk by their words and behaviors without understanding the risks involved.

Example...A child is told multiple times to stop a behavior in the home...they don't...and the result is they "accidentally" break something. Because of mom or dad's repeated warnings their reaction to the crash is emotional and swift. Why did you do that...what is wrong with you?

That last question is a statement as well as a question. The kid is saying to themselves....wrong with me? I didn't know anything was wrong with me....something must be wrong with me.

Did mom or dad mean to screw with their child's self esteem and self-definition? Of course not...but could they have anyway? Absolutely they could have.

Another example...husband and wife are not getting along and are arguing. Emotions escalate, both are emotionally reactive, and one threatens to leave or to divorce. Is the threat real or is it just a threat? Does it matter?

Yes...it matters a great deal. Again...I am a firm believer in not using threats unless they are a direct and firmly clear warning of an action....nothing less. So threatening to leave or divorce...as some misguided way of scaring or manipulating is just plain careless and really...not very smart. I do not believe it would get one what they really want.

Throwing those words out there should ONLY come if it is a firm fact and it is your intention to actually go through with it...otherwise you are being mean, vindictive, and manipulating. One other thing about this "threat" is it becomes meaningless if it is used uselessly so the partner would not know if it were real or just another manipulation. This is not something that a true "partner" would do.

If threatening people were a healthy thing to do there would be healthy positive consequences that would come from it. Most of the time however...threats are often a way to manipulate, bully, and basically be mean to people.

I personally think that the healthy thing to do in situations where I want to express something and I am emotional in the moment...is to make an informational comment that is not slanted in a threatening manner and then excuse myself until I am calm and rational. I have not always been in this space...there was a time in my life when I was less mature about these situations...but nowadays...I make a real effort to keep my emotional reactions in check so that I can think my way through moments where my emotions rule. It isn't easy...and no one is perfect...but I believe if a person is putting in the effort...then anything can be accomplished.

Maybe the key is to focus on what is healthy instead of being right. I mean we can all fight to the death to try to get someone else to see how right we are and how valuable our opinion and our point is....but it only makes the other person defensive and angry...and they won't listen to us or find what we are saying valuable....so what is the point really?

If you want to be heard...cramming your point down someone else's throat is a sure way to not getting listened to...it's pretty much a guarantee. If you want to be heard...then I would suggest you try to hear the other person first...it usually goes much better that way. It took me until the last several years until I learned this...but in my experience listening first is the better route to go.

Modern Day...

2009-07-23T21:27:00.000-07:00

I've found the world of blogging to be fun and interesting...playful and compelling...seriously opinionated and ultimately a healthy way to interact and express with the world...even if not completely intimately...at least...it is honestly...and for me...and for those I enjoy reading the most...it is release...and a way to share yourself.

What I think I find the most interesting is the disconnect. It is a virtual world surrounded by long distance relationships and people that we are connected to...but at the same time disconnected with...and by being physically disconnected...there is an intimacy about it that previously was only known by letter writing...which was mutually time consuming and exciting. The time spent waiting for that letter...that response...was invigorating and aggravating...suspense laden...and thrilling. There was an essence of that wait that we have obviously lost...and I am not wholeheartedly happy about that loss...a piece of me feels less for the absence of that wait. I am not saying I regret having Email, instant messaging, and the Internet...but I am saying, as I have said before, everything has a cost...and sometimes that cost is difficult to register until one steps back and looks at the big picture.

So there is a physical disconnect in our communication as well as a bridge to bring us back together. I sit here writing this blog and thinking about this disconnect...and the bridge that leads me back to you reading this...and considering the possibility that even though we have lost that wait...and that anticipation for that letter or telegraph...that the gains somehow improve our lives more than the loss of the wait.

News...now...is immediate. Realism is king and seeing what is going on around the world is currently possible. We have now watched war being waged in real time...multiple times. Recently the president mentioned the arrest of a prominent figure (Henry Louis Gates) of a major university (Harvard) trying to get into his own house through his own front door after returning from vacation...and arrested on his own porch...for getting upset because the police were giving him a hard time...about getting into his own house. I don't know what the man said...or exactly how he acted...towards the police officers...but it does make sense to me that it would piss the guy off...if I put myself in his place...it would be upsetting to me as well. Of course this is even putting the race issue at the side. But in the insanity of the blitz of information and the speed that it flows I see something healthy, as well as something very unhealthy mixing in with this.

Communication is our greatest tool and with the weight of the responsibility that it bears we need to ensure and use our freedom of speech tempered with the accountability of our message. But because we write this and then hit a button and fire it off...there is very little rumination of information. So we need to be careful of looking at what we produce and keeping it worthy of our time...and the time of others. Scrutinize what you put out there and we will all feel better about it...and I will try to do the same.

All in all I guess the ability to get a thought out there instantly is a good thing...as long as there is responsibility that comes along with it.

Bittersweet

2009-07-05T11:54:00.000-07:00

In the last several months...I have continually been reminded how fragile our lives are and how close to the brink of serious disaster at worst...and serious change...at best...we all are...at every given moment.

I guess this kind of started with the Sandra Cantu disappearance and murder last March...the little 8 year old girl in Tracy California who was abducted, molested, murdered, and stuffed into a suitcase and left in an agricultural drainage ditch where she was found by farm workers...the accused murderer is a female Sunday school teacher.

After having no traffic tickets in like 20 years or whatever I get two in one week...and a couple weeks after that go to the court house to pay my fines and hit this insane media frenzy surrounding the Cantu case and then actually watch the Cantu family enter the courthouse close up and personal. I wrote about it in my other blog here if you'd like to read that...
http://docsdoxology.blogspot.com/2009/04/surreal.html

So that is where I begin in this because it was surreal to me and actually had a fairly large and negative impact on me. I got...for just a few short moments directly...and overall maybe an hour total indirectly...very close to the flame and I felt the heat...of our press and the limelight of horrific and negative change...

That family...just weeks before that day...had no idea that this would be their life. A horrible act and event happened...and it acts as a pivot...and their lives go in a completely and wholly different direction.

Sometimes...this happens and the pivot is not horrible or evil. Sometimes...as when we start a new job or finish our education or start a business...maybe even win the lottery...whew wouldn't that be cool?!?....we have a pivotal moment and our lives are never again the same but it is a good thing.

Some times...and I dare say more often...the pivot is bittersweet. There is good and bad mixed in to the event and/or outcome of the event which we deal with. But our lives are changed just the same.

I am dealing with such pivotal change in my life currently and it is bittersweet. My daughter Harmony...was married yesterday and she spent her last night in her room under our roof...night before last. She said goodbye last night. Now...this is a cause of celebration and my wife and I are both very happy for her...it's an awesome thing...but it is hard for us to see her go...bittersweet...and Sarah...our 3 year old daughter is missing her sissy...even though she now has her own room all to herself...but she is by herself now too.

My son...is having Dr's at Stanford talk to him about a double lung transplant...within the next few months...and that means it could extend his life between 5-10 years and most of that first 5 years would be with a much different quality of life for him...no more treatments and oxygen tanks...and likely no hospital stays...unless he gets sick...in which case a common cold could kill him...because he will be on 25 medications that are trying to keep his body from rejecting the organs but also completely decimating his immune system. He says that he wants to climb Half-Dome in Yosemite and if he gets through the surgery and gets through the first year of healing....he could do that.

Bittersweet

Change is one of the few constants that we have and can count on. Sometimes...the change is wonderful...and sometimes it is horrible...but more often...as with so much in life...the reality is somewhere in the middle. So to me...it seems that the subject returns to creating a balance. When something is bittersweet there is quite a bit to be able to take from it and learn...which is one of the best parts...but there is a cost to it as well. All things have a cost...even those things that give the appearance as being free...all things have a cost.

I think that the cost of a thing sometimes...oftentimes...holds more meaning than we may realize at the time...and often we pay a cost without having thought out what that cost will entail and thereby sometimes...leaving us unprepared for paying that cost. But pay we must...for in all things there is a balance.

For me...the issue becomes one of awareness and preparation...but it is almost impossible to prepare one's self...to prepare for some things...so even in this it is difficult. But to try to be prepared for it and to try to be ready...which I often fail miserably at...I still try though...but the purpose is in the effort and not necessarily in the outcome...or said another way...it is the journey and not the destination...that is important and the point.

But even in this...it is bittersweet...

Moments in the meantime...

2009-05-07T19:31:00.000-07:00

Moments in the meantime...

Have you ever noticed how living your life keeps getting caught up in the minutia of the moments...and how even when you are totally into a thing...life is going on around you and your focus...while needed and desired in that moment...seems trivial and incomplete when you step back and take a look at that moment with some fresh eyes and a different perspective?

I listened to someone speak today about their experience...and as they were processing their feelings and the aftermath of their moment...I found myself comparing...measuring...relating...and trying to solve a puzzle with them about their experience while at the same time trying to see how I fit into the same issues and conversation...how would I be if compared by the same measurement and how would I feel if facing the same circumstances? Would I have done the same as this individual given the same circumstances or would I have made a different choice...and if so...why? Along with why...how would that have impacted me differently?

I saw a piece of what this event did to or for them...I guess it depends on how one looks at it...their uncertainty...their questioning of themselves...the guilt...and worry. I understand the fear. I get how something like the mistake they apparently made...out of a very positive intention....but none the less a mistake...made them feel like they let others down and possibly put people and organizations in jeopardy. So what does it all mean?

It doesn't really mean anything. It can mean everything. Depending on how a person views it...it might be nothing or it could be everything and there is only one person that can make a difference like that. How do I view it and what does it mean to me? Well...what do I want it to mean to me? How does this make me look in others eyes? Will people see me the way I want them to or will they look at this as a reason to view me negatively? Could this actually underline what I already believe? Is this proof?

In the meantime...while all the questions...all the self-examination...all the doubt...life is carrying on....and these moments...travel on in the meantime. What does it all mean?

You decide...

Truth...an interesting point.

2009-03-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

So....this week...I really pissed someone off. I didn't exactly mean to...it's...at times...just the nature of what I do and the way I do it. See...in a way...I tell the truth to people for a living. I make great efforts to do this with understanding, empathy, diplomacy, and caring. Generally this is taken well by people even if it is not what someone wants to hear...and this is often the case. But most of the time, people in general, appreciate hearing a truth. It gives the opportunity for personal growth.

However, there are times where I feel I have to tell someone something that they need to hear...but yet they are just simply not ready for receiving the information. At times, such as this situation above, there is often an emotional reaction, emotional reactivity, and my role in the drama is being the instigator. I am not particularly excited with having to implement this role...but I can take it on when I need to. Confrontation isn't my natural state however I am more than comfortable with confrontation when the time calls for it. My experience has been that most people do not like confrontation...but when confronted with a truth...they are open to seeing a different path...at least to some degree. From there it is all just about planting seeds.

Now...I have used the term truth several times here...and have written about this in the past so I would invite the reader to check out another of my blogs from the past in dealing with truth.

http://thethoughtlounge.blogspot.com/2007/06/momentstruthand-being-in-now.html

This of course does not cover the subject and is incomplete so I will first and foremost freely make this admission. What is written in this past blog holds the core of what I am describing above, however it is quite incomplete.

A truth is as one sees it and is a matter of personal perception. With that said I will also say that there does exist some universal truth within the context of our individual lives as well as collectively, and while valid philosophical arguments can be made against this, the reality of perception connects most of us to a gathering of information and agreement.

A flame is hot. Ice is cold. The sun describes day. The moon describes night. Yes...it is our five senses that provide us with this information and can not therefore be fully trusted...so holding a burning ember in your bare hand for 5 minutes...take a nice 5 mile stroll walking in snow in January with bare feet...dipping your bare feet in boiling oil....hmm?...You don't want to? Could it possibly be that you know better? Fear getting injured? This would be a justified fear. That this would be a justified fear...is a truth. A truth because of the likelihood of the injury. While the argument of a philosopher is an interesting theoretical exercise...any rational person would doubt the mental stability of anyone actually trying these exercises. Truth.

These examples are simplistic and even juvenile yet they are examples of basic agreements that we have all come to hold as truths. Even the most cynical and ardent philosophers abide by these same evident truths in their daily existence while railing against the idea of such a thing intellectually and academically. The exercise of thought. The concept of time is just as universal. The proof is in the behaviors of the cynic. While fighting tooth and nail against the very idea of time being a truth to us collectively...the truth actually is...that academic is there at work at 8:00 AM to teach his/her class or he/she is not paying their mortgage that month. The argument is simply an exercise in intellectual thought...but not in practice. Not in behavior. Not real. But interesting nonetheless.

So truth...is quite an interesting concept...and yet I believe truth has shades of gray itself. Are there absolute truths? I personally believe that there is very little in our lives that is black and white. Most of life is a shade of gray. However I do believe that absolutes do exist...albeit in very short supply. But it isn't in the extremes that I want to linger. I think the more interesting conversation is in the battleground of the agreed upon truths. Those not out on the fringe but the more debatable, yet still strongly held opinions, which can lead to healthy debate and personal growth. One of these subjects, to me, is respect. I have written about this in the past. Again I invite the reader to this past blog.

http://thethoughtlounge.blogspot.com/2007/06/respect.html

My explanation of respect always includes self-respect...and it was in this conversation that I angered someone earlier this week. It is interesting to me that the same words can have such diverse affects on different people. With one person it caused a flash of anger and they burst from their seat and out of the room and building. They...were...done! LOL.

Another person cried, laughed, and asked for a hug. It is interesting that people are so individual in their growth, thoughts, and ideas...as well as reactions...to the same information. Does it make the information less true because one person could hear it and one person could not? I do not believe it changes the truth of the assertion...I do believe it speaks to an individual's ability to hear the truth or to accept a truth. But it doesn't necessarily make that truth less of a truth.

A common assertion regarding respect...is...I will respect you if you respect me first...but if you are gonna disrespect me...I am going to disrespect you back. This is very common and I have two names for this mentality.

The first is "the warrior's mentality". It is and has been the mentality of warriors...the people who war with each other...as in real war. This point of view was developed through survival and therefore is valid within the framework of violence. For as long as human beings have registered their history and I am sure beyond...this mentality has existed and in those areas prone to violence as a way of life, it will most likely and unfortunately continue to exist. It is protectionism and defense. Purely survival. While it is understandable how it came into existence...it is also understandable how useless it is when analyzing an individual's personal growth. This attitude suppresses an individual's ability to truly grow. It is about power and control. It is about physical strength...with no intellect, understanding, or empathy.

The second name is "a pen mentality". Pen as in penitentiary. This is the way that human beings treat each other in prison. This same population considers themselves as soldiers and so the core of this mentality is the same. That same mentality filters out into the street through thugs and gangs...billy bad asses and alcoholic individuals unable to get their life's struggles under control...immaturity and the sheep mentality when individual's do not value themselves more than simply fitting in with a crowd...as well as some of the mentally ill. There are more categories of course...I am simplifying for the purposes of this post...but there are more.

Suffice it to say...this is all without self-respect as I have described it in the above mentioned blog.

Respect is earned. But self-respect is earned and hard fought for as well. Someone who acts under the definitions above...who is living in our society and not in a hot...forward area...defending our country...does not and should not be living with a warrior's or a pen mentality. It is simply not necessary and more so it is harmful to the individual as well as our communities for each of us to allow ourselves to reduce ourselves to these poor ways of being in the world. It is absolutely a reduction as a human being to view our world like this because it justifies inhuman behavior. Behavior that is illegal, immoral, undignified, corrupt, and disrespectful.

It takes more guts...more bravery...more courage...to hold your personal integrity intact and retain your self-respect by not allowing yourself to be degraded and reducing your belief and behavior to actions brought on by these faulty belief systems. We should instead rise above petty immature and inane feuding and treat each other the way we should be treating each other...with dignity and respect. It takes more to be more. It does not take much to revel in degradation. This attitude and belief is shallow and unfulfilling. One will never be their full potential as a human being by embracing violence and pride. I guess it comes down to what one wants in their life...and if one does not care for ones self...one will hurt others...and thereby themselves...because they will be ignorant of being any better.

I do find it interesting that so many of us can be so truncated in our own ability to develop. Of course I am not above the warriors or pen mentality. I lived a good portion of my life from the same direction and therefore I am not speaking from some lofty perch. However...I learned to do better...and learned to live better...and learned to believe in a better way. Truth.

I guess part of things is just about maturity. For in my younger years when I was a scrapper and came from the same mentality...I saw, said, and did things that I would never do in the same way now. Truth.

Interesting how truth works...
Truth.

Healing...

2009-01-10T08:54:00.000-08:00

It is good to see a new year come and we can begin again, entering a fresh calendar and new beginnings. There is a feeling of excitement in the new and a sense of anticipation. Of course it is also a bit of folly because the only thing that has really happened is we have crossed over a threshold of a calendar which is simply a perception. But the perception of time in a calendar can be as real as one will make it...so I will take the road to the new and go with the flow, celebrating it's possibilities.

I consistently find as I walk along my path in this life that I am choosing to view things as positive whenever I can manage to justify it in my own mind. Not that there isn't the negative out there...there is plenty of bad to go around. But I gotta tell ya, I personally, feel better as I try to search for the positive in whatever it is. I find this more healing...more cathartic...for me.

Sometimes that is really difficult because there is a part of me that feeds on catastrophizing a situation or an event. I kinda grew up with that perception around me. My mom told me once that she expects the worst, and then if it doesn't happen, she is relieved and if it does, she is not surprised or disappointed. Not to point fingers or anything...we are all allowed our own way of looking at life, but every cell in me hears that and my response is...yuck. I do not want to expect the worst. I do not want to be disappointed either, don't get me wrong, but I would rather focus on hope and expect the best...the positive...and work towards making even a cruddy situation positive.

One of my clinical supervisors, as I was going through my training for being a marriage and family therapist once told me, "even in the worst stories, experiences, and situations...you will know the client has turned a corner towards permanent healing once they view their horrible situation as positive. That is the only point that they will be able to get past it".

So the idea is that even if a person has been exposed to being hurt, attacked, maimed, raped, watched someone else killed, or almost died themselves, they need to get to a point in their perception...their view of their own experience...that will speak to them as the outcome of that experience as being positive.

Now...it is completely understandable if you read that statement and say to yourself there is no way I could be maimed or raped or watched someone die and see it as positive. That might be a perfectly normal reaction and it even might be a reaction shared by the majority of people reading this, however...if you want to heal from the wound...you need to get to the point...with time and a lot of effort...that will lead you to a place which will allow you to see that good has come from whatever it is that happened to you.

Why would you have been made better by going through something horrible? Well...usually all the pain experienced, that hurts and leaves us wondering why...will lead us to new realizations and learning experiences...and sometimes even to safer and healthier places in life. Not always will it make one healthier...in a physical sense...but very often that is an added benefit. The point is, the experiences have a benefit, even though they were traumatic to go through. It is at that point that one can make the transition from being a victim of the experience...to being proactive and moving forward in their own life...taking charge...in a healthy way.

We watched 20/20 last night and saw the story of a 16 year old girl who 6 years ago at the age of 10 was left in charge of her 3 year old sister, in a trailer, while mom went off to a casino to gamble. While left alone, two teenagers come to the trailer, gained entry, and stabbed her and her sister. The 3 year old died and the 10 year old almost died. She was stabbed repeatedly and left in a wheel chair. It was a horrific scene and one that on so many levels should never have happened. The teenagers, a brother (19) and a sister (16) were caught and convicted. They had a problem with the children's mother because of a drug deal gone bad.

Today the survivor is 16 years old, going to high school, is a popular, smart, cute teenager, full of life and energetic, looking at her future with eyes wide open, having just been adopted by her foster family. She is an athlete and is participating in track and field events in her wheel chair. She is living her life...not just existing in it...not just surviving it. She is happy. She is healthy. This survivor...this young girl... said that she wasn't angry. She was actually thankful that this had happened to her. "How?!?" you might ask? She said that before the attack her life was horrible. Now her life is wonderful. She has a real family, real support, and a real future. She also has money ($5 million) because the trailer park was owned by a casino and provided no security. The money in no way makes up for the fact that this young girl no longer has use of half her body and that her sister died.

But she is in a place today that is a place of healing. A place of going forward into a future that will be bright. She is not a victim...she truly is a survivor...in every sense of the word. The reality of her current life is because of her healing and her attitude. It would be fairly easy for her to get stuck in the why me cycle. She is choosing to go forward in her life, which means she needs to look at the gifts she has received once the physical wounds have healed. Sometimes situations are not as clear as this young lady's example, but the point is there will always be something positive to take from whatever the damage is...sometimes it takes us awhile to find it or see the lesson, but it will show itself, and it is our job to be open and receptive to hearing the lesson...to learning.

Which brings me full circle. By being open to learning and receptive to a positive attitude, one can find a way through the brambles and thorns of life's painful paths to see that no matter how hard or bad things might seem, there are lessons to learn and things to be thankful for. Your life is whatever you make it and looking for excuses as to why you aren't or shouldn't be or can't...which is a word I personally hate....HATE...can't....is self-defeating.

Which is why I will always do my personal best, to try to look at the positive perception, because it is the right thing for me...and I would hope...is the right thing for you as well. Just about anything...is possible, if you believe.

A Time For A Change

2008-11-08T08:50:00.000-08:00

This is quite a time we live in. Extraordinary and exciting, dangerous and scary, full of promise for the future and the making of historic moments, we are living in a time that will be studied by future generations. Our decisions are important and significant because they change us as a society, which will change our future path and the direction of future generations.

We are altering our own normality which in my opinion is vital and important. We NEED to do this because we NEED to grow and that growth will strengthen our children, grandchildren, and beyond. It is exciting because this is how we as humans progress. It is also scary because we cannot predict what certain changes will mean and we need to be careful with the changes we make. I will offer some examples.

As the industrial revolution took hold of this country, we slowly moved towards production capabilities never known to human beings in the history of the world. As we grew and continued to create, invent, and establish new forms of production of material goods and services we started to grow our thinking and understanding of how certain things work.

We created steam engines which powered trains and ships which led to greater migration patterns and distribution of goods bought and sold. This was a great advance. One unintended consequence of this was also the spread of certain diseases, to people who had no natural immunity built up because that particular virus or bacteria has never before been introduced to them, as well as birds, bugs, animals, and rodents to places not known to them prior, which in turn changes those new environments.

We eventually created a combustion engine which led to the creation of vehicles which allow for personal transportation and transportation on a smaller scale. This also and at approximately the same time allowed for larger types of transportation as well in the forms of trucks, buses, ships, and eventually even aircraft for distribution of goods and transportation of people for personal reasons, economic reasons, production reasons, as well as military reasons.

These same advances brought about change that strengthened our economy, military, global positioning, and industry as well as our personal lives and opportunities. These engines also run in factories, lawn mowers, leaf blowers, motorcycles, street sweepers, generators, and on and on. They have made our day to day lives extraordinary and much easier, full of new possibilities.

But they of course have a negative consequence as well. They have a byproduct that is extremely unhealthy for our bodies and for the environment. CO2. This gas that these engines produce and omit has the effect of killing us if we breathe too much of it directly. This gas has the same effect on us if we put too much of it in our atmosphere. I believe it is atmosphere and not stratosphere. Point being the more we pump into our air the closer we come to changing our planet in a way that is going to have an effect on our physical lives both personal and professional, and on our future.

We have altered the planet by our collective behavior over the last 100 to 150 years in such a way that could mean significant changes to what we know and the way we know it when it comes to our lives and geography. I say could because we can still change some of our behaviors and alter some of our current ways so that we do not end up destroying ourselves.

Of course combustion engines are not the only way we add this and other gasses to our environment that have an effect on our global environment...they just happen to be one of the largest ways. Another would be cattle and the methane they produce. The number of cows has grown exponentially globally because of the market for them which is a byproduct of the equal explosion of global human population, but the cattle we breed globally produce a great amount of methane which contributes to this same problem.

If you happen to be one of those who does not believe in global warming or the trends that scientists are predicting because of it, I would simply refer to the above example of breathing the output of just one combustion engine and the deadly health risks doing such a thing represents. While our atmosphere can absorb some of these gasses, one must admit there has to be a limit to how much and for how long it can take prolonged exposure, it only makes sense there will be a limit and at some point the balance will turn to the negative. This is reasonable and to ignore the point of diminishing return is at the least costly and at the most naive.

Of course a discussion of development and change would not be complete without at least a mention of the weapons that we have developed and created. The potential for destroying ourselves several times over has existed for decades now and the threat is very real. With irresponsible leaders of the world taking power and gaining these weapons, how will this play out? Again...a very interesting time to be living in and a part of.

We have recently elected a new president, which was both historic because of his racial background, as well as significant because of the mix of financial issues, other domestic issues, and foreign policy issues, not to mention two active wars we are fighting...and I am increasingly amused and find curious the reactions I have came across since this has happened. Some people are elated and some are very scared. Those filled with fear sometimes will quote comments made by the political right to base those fears on...fair enough...that is their belief system at work...and others can't articulate their reasons for the fear...they are just...scared.

About a year and a half ago I read both of the president-elects books. I started telling the people in my groups that I was running at the time that this guy has the skills, background, education, and experience necessary to bring people together...he has already built a long history of bringing people together and has been doing this for 20 plus years...since before he was the president of Harvard's Law Review...he is someone...if anyone can...that has the potential to bring the people of this country together...has the potential to bring world leaders together...except maybe those that can not see past the color of his skin...and if he could make it through the press and political gauntlet...that I would vote for him because of the man...not the party...I am registered with one party but frankly...I do not vote party...any party...I vote people...I do not vote for people I don't like or believe in...personally...that's just me...

The choice has been made by this country and now it is up to the man to follow through and do what is needed. Whether or not you voted for him...he is now our president as Americans. Whether or not you are elated or scared...this is a time of change and change itself is scary. He is human so is bound to make some mistakes...but he is cognizant of what our history is...and what we need to do domestically and globally. My hope and prayer...is that this change will be a change for the better for now and leave a footprint for a better change for our future. Only time will tell. But if we can come together and unite...as a people...as a country...we are much more likely to remain the strong world leader that we have come to be...and that is really the goal isn't it?

My Goal...

2008-10-21T17:56:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered if you make a difference? I mean we all make some difference just by living our lives and being around...that whole systems theory thing...everything has an affect and effect on everything else...the It's A Wonderful Life thing...the ripples in a pond theory...

I mean really...truly....strongly...passionately...tenaciously...make a difference to people...someone...do you create a lasting and reverberating impact?

Who has made a lasting impact on you?

Many people have greatly impacted me through the course of my life. My father was my hero...and in many ways still is. He was an excellent example of how to be a man, father, provider, husband. Of course he had his flaws...he was very much the authoritarian and had very strict boundaries and a quick and hot temper. There were many times I remember being scared and feeling like I did not want to let him down. But he was a hard worker and that included working to be a good father.

I am now older than he lived to be. He was 39 when he passed in a car accident on his way home. One mistake...one bad choice...and it was all over...his story...his life...my mentor.

I am forever amazed at how hard he worked and at how much time he made for my brother and I. He was accomplished in several things and always found time for us. He was always busy...but always there for us. It will forever amaze me when I see people reaching for lofty goals such as people becoming a good spouse or a good parent, and then achieving it.

I still marvel at the way some people are able to be so together in their lives. Even on a good day I find myself tracking less than I desire for myself to be as a parent, as a husband, as a professional, as an individual. Infinitely human and vulnerable to human frailties. I am strong...I am not weak...but I am human.

So with looking at my mentor...and other mentors I have had in my life...I then ask myself...am I leaving a legacy of impacting...truly impacting others? I sure hope so. I am trying. I know sometimes...I fall shy of my goal...but I sure hope when everything is said and done...that I can look back and feel good about the trail I have left behind.

I hope that whatever good I am as an example to others in my life...great or small...I can improve and grow the good...grow the impact...reach for greater heights. I pray that someday...I have made a difference...for someone...somewhere...for the greater good.

Make the world a better place...to live and love in...and maybe...just maybe...our children will pick up that torch...and carry it forward to the next generation...and the world will be a better place....for us having been in it for awhile...

Things that made me go Hmm...

2008-10-04T10:55:00.000-07:00

In reponse to a comment left on the last post...

*gibberish blather...
*wannabe writer...
*doubt about personal integrity...

Hmm...

Methinks it is not my personal integrity at question here...I said I disagreed with your arguments...I didn't call you names...I could…but I don’t…I don’t even want to…I’m not sure why you do…

I have made a recorded history of expressing opinion that is strong and strongly expressed, but balanced… I also backed off of this “discourse” earlier because of this type of behavior…if disparaging this writer is the best that you can think to do in your intellectual arguments when presenting your views, then I do understand the psychology of whom I am dealing with and I have no desire to engage. If you would like to continue this conversation, I need to deal with an adult.

Personal assaults are abusive and really show a lack of ability…they do not forward your arguments…they degrade your points of view that you are attempting to make. They are harmful…and unfortunate. I would suggest writing your responses, if you decide to continue, with less emotion and more rationale. Just a suggestion if you really have a desire in challenging my thought process.

*I will argue that a majority of United States citizens no longer can agree on a clear definition of what freedom means...

I would argue that this has been a problem since the inception of the country. Do I believe in uprooting indigenous peoples? How about enslaving other people from a whole different continent? We fought a civil war based on the difference in definition of freedom. We are still fighting political wars over the definition of freedom. Abortion, gay marriage, executions, drug use, smoking, toking, stroking, in God we trust, taxation, unfettered capitalism, prayer in schools, on and on…we don’t agree on the fine points. No...I think the definition of what our freedom means and how far it extends has been an age old question since, as I said before…our country’s inception…but that doesn’t mean that everything I have already asserted isn’t accurate, correct, or “right”.

You have also quoted several things I have written but have taken them completely out of context to suit your purpose much like we consistently watch media and political parties do…and while I can understand how one might develop a cynical approach to the things I have written…the dysfunctions of some of the members of our society are an unfortunate but realistic part of our society…but not the entire society as a whole…and while I stand by my past assertions to the degrading pieces of this society…mine is more of a call to recognition in order to change what is there as opposed to hiding from it and acting as if it is not there…a call to change if you will…and yes…meaning must be a large part of it. Apparently we disagree on this point…this fine point…but I stand by what I have written and believe it, and here in America...we can agree to disagree.

*Yet, they are clearly equally divided into two groups arguing about what is not freedom.

I would argue that there are many more than simply two groups…even if you are talking political systems there may be two major parties…but last time I checked the two major financially backed candidates are not the only people, based on organized political parties that are running for president. We are fractured by groups of differentiating thought. There are always several out there who are representing those that fundamentally disagree with either of the two major parties. But that still doesn’t attack the heart of what I asserted. We collectively believe in freedom…and we spread that idea around the world…and to those that are of a closed mind…the idea of freedom is dangerous.

*Do you share in the same freedoms as your Father? I suggest looking for the resources that reflect what your senses are telling you. Something contrary to a habitual practice of digesting the interpretations of the talking heads, religious leadership or politicians.

My father was born into a different country, Spain, into a civil war being perpetrated by a ruthless dictator who murdered large amounts of people, and into an economy that was far behind where we are even today. My father ran from there as a teen and many years later eventually landed here in this land. My perspective is different and my reasoning sound. Where my ideas and thinking come from are not based on CNN, MSNBC, or FOX. While I do agree that one’s senses are how one creates understanding and therefore a perspective…I think maybe your assumptions about others should not be so narrow as to think that everyone comes from the same background or perspective…or be so braindead as to not think for themselves...but all that still does not shake my point in that “patriotic proclamation” as you coined it, which I gotta admit…I kinda like. Thanks for the kudo.

This nation believes in freedom…and we should. Defining things is also something I have written about in the past. It is vitally important…but even in the defining of a thing there will be divisive controversy. This is human nature.

I would also like to challenge the challenger here. Mine is an opinion created from observation and self-exploration. Observing what my fellow Americans have done and are doing…and what I have seen as important to my own path. I am not simply espousing or regurgitating someone else’s rhetoric. I simply…wrote what I believe. I would however suggest that your challenges are brought forward by simple rule of philosophical thought, challenge, and contradiction and therefore are simply a rote reaction to an idea expressed. Not even because you believe differently. Questioning a statement for the sake of the question and not in where it will go…it is the movement rather than the importance…you are actually strengthening the point I made in We the People…LOL…because it is our freedom here in this great country that allows me to speak my observations, and allows you to challenge them…

*The fact is, as I said at the beginning of our discussion, that the wannabe writer does not have a need for knowledge of the truth about what is right or good.

This is not a fact. In essence you are making a judgment of me here…and once again the assertion is personal rather than philosophical…but even if you take the personal out of it…a need for knowledge of truth of what is right and good….sounds like the sentiment of the religious right…asserting your idea of what is right upon me…without the option for alternative. Isn’t this exactly what you accuse me of doing?

For shame LOL…come on dude…

Tiptoeing through the tulips...

2008-10-02T19:47:00.000-07:00

A Dickens reference? Really? Uh....OK....

First…I want to say…I appreciate your answering my writing with your thoughts and appreciate you putting what you think out there…and I appreciate your reading my writing as well. Thank you. I don’t have many readers and have even less that will step up…so I do appreciate someone sharing…

As far as responding to what you wrote…

Your first paragraph was simply hard to understand…only thing I really got out of it was that you think I am supposed to be doing something other than expressing my opinion on my own blog. This is incorrect and an assumption on your part. The whole purpose for me to write here is to say something that I think and believe…not to prove anything to anyone…it isn’t even to please or displease…just simply to express thought…this is an expression and if you disagree with my assertion…welp…I am OK with that…in fact…I am quite open to that…but I would appreciate the opposing assertion at least stay in context with what I was talking about…

Most of the rest of what you wrote seemed to be efforts to somehow argue a few of the points I made through my piece…and frankly…the arguing against us having a society that believes in freedom….even though freedom is basically an illusion…a point I have made and referred to in other previous blogs…does not make sense to me.

I personally think this is not a logical argument given the constitution, the declaration of independence, and even in a more recent example…what was expressed and acted upon after the events of 911…from people across this country…

I make the point that our society believes in freedom…not that we are actually free in every way, shape, and form…and honestly…I believe I was pretty clear in my assertions…I made several of them and after rereading what I wrote…I still feel good about it and stand by it. It is in the belief…the very idea…of freedom that we hold our strength and our collective power resides.

As far as your offer of insight for the future…I am not sure what it is that you are referencing because the quotes that you are obviously using from different sources around the Internet are not making a clear and cohesive point in context to what I was writing about or saying. Don’t get me wrong…I am not trying to blow off anyone…but frankly I don’t follow your reasoning or logic in reference to what I wrote and what I was trying to say…you are arguing a point…I get that…but your point is lost to me in part because it strays from the context of the conversation…

Are you arguing that Americans do not believe in freedom? Really? Is that your assertion?

If that is your assertion then I would highly disagree with you. If that is not what you were trying to say then forgive me…because see…that was the point of the piece I wrote…that and the moral of the story being that we “should” believe in freedom and we “should” be working hard to spread that word, belief, and idea around the world. Referring to Saddam Hussein regarding helping his people is like referring to Adolph Hitler helping German Jews by starting the VW company. That just doesn’t make sense to me.

I do not see how Saddam Hussein relates to what organizations like the Peace Corps, an organization who helps people around the world and are manned by Americans and was started by Americans and came forward as an idea and assertion from Americans, and other organizations that Americans help out in like Green Peace, and UNICEF have to do with your reference.

See…this is what I was saying about rhetoric a year ago…when I am writing…I am trying to make a point with my point…it is not about winning to me…it is not about simplistic inconsequential competition. There must be a meaning to the point…otherwise it is superficial and insignificant. It has to mean something to have an impact that is lasting. The power in words is in the ideas and beliefs behind them…it’s not in the strategic manipulation of gaining but in their ability to transform…and in transformation there is lasting meaning and true power…anything else is just…wind…

Namaste
Peace, sunsets, serenity, and prayer…

Just for kicks...

Thought you might get a kick outta this too LOL...This is an example of talking...but just not saying anything \;') blowing wind LOL...
Even Katie Courick is going....uh...what?!?

Enjoy

Watch CBS Videos Online

We the people...

2008-09-27T07:29:00.000-07:00

We the people...

We the people is a powerful phrase in this here land...it actually means something in this great society. I for one am glad to have it as part of my life, knowledge, history, and example. With a loud and boisterous upraised voice...we the people have the ability to speak. We the people have the ability to be heard. No matter what our message might be...because sometimes it truly is of the greatest importance...and sometimes it is trivial and trite...but here...in this wonderful land...we the people means something...and we have a collective voice...that can be heard.

I truly love this country. Our foundation certainly had a rocky start and at times...it's true...our government and leaders made choices that have been harmful...but all in all...I think...personally...we are in the middle of the most amazing society and land in the history of mankind.

Which....I recognize....is really saying something because there have been several amazing societies before us...Greeks, Romans, Persians, Egyptians, Chinese to name a few...there are certainly other amazing societies alive and around us now...but never before has there been such a mix...such a freedom...such opportunity...as the society we have created here. It makes me very proud...and glad...to have my children live and learn here...to be in this mix...to be a part of it...

We have problems too...don't get me wrong...I recognize this as well...serious problems as of late...things that we desperately need to address and work on...many problems of many types...problems that make many of us...feel overwhelmed...and angry...because we haven't worked out the solutions yet...but we are truly human...and no society or government...no body of people...no....body....is perfect...or is gonna be...so...we will continue to do our best...despite our weaknesses...

We the people of this great land have compassion...we have empathy...we the people care...we the people reach out to try to help...to build community here at home and around the world...to share what we have come to know...

We the people of this great land serve as an example...of what people around the world should be...as an example of how we should be doing....how we should be being...as human beings...as global partners and neighbors...for every negative thing that an American company or government has done...there are equal positive examples of what we the people have done around the globe to help and hold up in support...to exemplify and cheer...to comfort and heal...to fight injustices and wrongs...to try to do right by....people...other people...that are in need of help...

We the people of this great land have a capacity that no other land could have...because we all know we are in this fight for survival together...there is a unity that underlies those stars and stripes...there is a cohesion that no terrorist will ever be able to sever. Because this country is not based on bloodline and ethnic continuity, this country is not based on birthright, this country is not based on the privilege that so many bicker about around the globe.

This country is based on ideals and values.

This country is based on an idea.

This country is based on a belief.

In the end, an idea and a belief is stronger than blood ties. An idea and a belief is stronger than simply occupying space for a long time. An idea and a belief becomes the soul of a society. An idea and belief becomes a society's identity. An idea and belief becomes alive in the hearts and minds of those people that live it...because it lives in them. An idea and a belief becomes something worth dieing for...worth protecting...at all costs...

This is what the terrorists around the world do not understand...because what they are fighting against when fighting against us...we the people of this great nation...is not just military might, money, or power. They are fighting against the very ideas and beliefs that we the people uphold. The ideas and beliefs that we live, day to day. The ideas and beliefs that this great nation was actually founded on. We are here because we CHOOSE to be here. Not simply because we were born here.

We are powerful and great not because of our might...or our military...but because of what we believe...and hold to be true....as...we the people. The terrorists around the world are actually fighting against themselves when they fight us. Fighting themselves because they struggle through the same things as we do and want many of the same things as we do...better lives for themselves and their families, freedoms, a voice...and because they are fighting against themselves...they will never get what they want...they can never win...a house divided against itself will fall...just as the Bible says...all the terrorists can do is harm...but it will not get them what they really want. They and their families will not be better off until we start to heal instead of harm each other. Hatred will only lead to more hatred, violence to more violence, bloodshed to more bloodshed. They will never get what they want. To live their lives peacefully and love their families.

If they were to look at who we are...not simply what they think we represent...they would see the forged strength of our ideas and belief...that every human being has a right to freedom...has a right to speak their belief...has a right to believe whatever they want...has a right to exist...has a right to worship...has a right to live...in whatever way they CHOOSE...as long as they are not hurting others in their doing so...

Those that fight against us...us meaning and defined as...we the people....of this great land and nation...not just our government...or our industry...because frankly both of those entities have made harmful mistakes and choices around the world that would leave someone whom has been harmed by them distrustful and hurt...and therefore angry and resentful...but those that fight against our way of life...they will not be able to break us...to break our will or spirit...

The reason they will not be able to break us...is because of the idea...the belief...that we are free...free from tyranny and oppression...free from someone telling us how to think and what to believe...a belief that freedom should be a right to every human being...everywhere...that freedom is too important to each American...we let the genie out of the bottle folks...and once it's out...there just ain't no getting him back in.

We do not have to bow down and cower...we do not have to close our mouths or our minds...even when some in our own society call for others to do exactly that...what we have created is just too important...too vital...too significant. We must protect our freedoms here at home...and we must help others around the world to discover what we have found out...and we can never go back...

The price for protectionism is too high if it includes the human rights and freedoms that many in this great nation now take for granted. I cannot imagine living under oppressive conditions because a government or a religion commands that I do. Even the conformity that I live in here sometimes feels oppressive. Having to conform to an employers desires and treatment can emotionally have that taint of oppression...but this is America!...if I truly don't like it...I can leave and start elsewhere or start my own business...or go live under a bridge...I have freedom to CHOOSE...something different.

We the people...have the option...to CHOOSE...how we want to live...how we want to love...how we want to make a living...who we want to be...and even today...in many areas of the world...many countries around the globe...still do not offer their people a simple choice...all any American really has to do to see how great this country is...is travel to other countries...see things for yourselves...the oppression is out there folks...the differences are there....even in this day, time, and era.

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

May God bless us one and all.

A good idea...I hope.

2008-08-10T17:23:00.001-07:00

So...I gotta tell ya...I am having a good time writing these days...and it has been inspiring. Heather (my lovely wife) told me I should write a book, and although the idea is not a new one...her directive to me was, because it was more urgent and in some ways as if she were in part challenging me...and in part telling me that she would help me if I wanted to really accomplish this as well as market it...a directive that felt to me it was with some teeth and opportunity.

So I sat down and came up with a little over 40 subjects that I am interested in writing about. Some semblance of a plan I guess you could say. I let Heather know I had accomplished this first step and she was supportive. I sent her the list and...well...she never really read it above a quick skip through it...but she was supportive...and I was still inspired so...as a next step I made a choice about which of the 40+ subjects I would start writing about...and then I started writing. I wrote almost four pages on that first subject and felt pretty good about it.

It is still a little rough when I read it back now...but it is good and overall I like what I wrote. I will be doing a rewrite of it before I feel it is finalized. I sent that to Heather as well but frankly she has been so busy with photo projects and Moomp Photography business that she hasn't been able to read it. I am OK with that because I know she is still supporting me...and I want to support her in our business.

I felt so good about that first writing that I decided to keep the momentum going...and I picked a second subject on my list. I wrote on that subject as well. This time I got almost through a fifth page. The second subject read even better than the first to me and I am sure I will need to rewrite some of it as well...I have already edited it somewhat and rewritten pieces of it...and I am happy with it's direction. I again told Heather about it but things are the way they are currently with our time and again I understand.

I wanted to keep going and so I again went to my list. I am still interested in everything on it...but nothing jumped out at me this time so I asked myself...what do I want to say right now? I picked a subject not on my list so I added the subject to my list and started to write. I wrote again...almost four pages...and again I was happy with the outcome.

I don't know that any of my subjects are finished yet and I don't have a completed idea of exactly what I am doing with it or specifically where I am going with it but I know that so far...there is a common thread and theme which means that up to this point there is some cohesion.

I am writing a book!

I guess the "subjects" I am writing now could be considered chapters...and frankly I understand that I am going about this in a backwards way...because I am writing chapters before I even have a planned out direction or theme...but I am motivated and feeling good about the work right now. I think that with some of the subjects I chose on my list...and the direction I have in my professional and personal life...I guess I could say I am writing some sort of a self-help book. Pretty closely related to the things I have blogged about.

So for those two of you that like to check in from time to time on my ramblings in this here blog...I will invite you to introduce the idea of reading me in a somewhat different light. In other words...if you like what is written in this blog...maybe you will follow me into a book...where I will ramble on...the way I do...dot dot dot :)

What do you say? Anyone interested?

I just gotta know ;)

Warning...possible vapidity up ahead \;')E)

2008-08-08T13:40:00.000-07:00

This is in answer to the comment left on my last post.

Two things.

One:
What's wrong with think is, think is how anxiety is created. Think is how depression is created. Think is how we lose focus on those things that are most important to us. Think leads to over-think and over-think leads to problems...and at times major problems.

This is not to say one should not think...I am not saying that...suffice it to say that thinking is also...as with everything in life...something that one can do too much of and over-thinking can become problematic. Also, as I said in the last blog, thinking overwhelms the space inside us.

Picture...the night sky on a clear night...and of the vastness of that space...but we do not really see that space because we are busy looking at the stars...however because of our infinitely limited perception...we do not perceive the vastness of the space in between them. Because we are somewhat intelligent...we have been successful at creating neat little tricks through gadgets we've invented, to get a glimpse at how the universe might work in reality...but to the naked eye...we do not perceive the vastness of space...we see the foreground which is all the stars that we can actually see.

The same can be said for our lives and our ways of being. There is infinite vastness in space within us, space containing our peace, solitude, and serenity. But to get to that place and perceive the space, we need to shut the hell up.

So...instead of trying to critique the idea...because this is more than an idea...it is our reality...why not try to "DO" what I am describing? Find your space. Sit for 2:00 minutes....heck...try 30 seconds...and not...think. Make yourself....quiet. On the inside.

Unless you have a long vast experience with meditation and mindfulness training...chances are you will not be able to do this. Not without a lot of practice.

Two:
Personal growth is about forward movement. A lack of forward movement equals personal stagnation, therefore personal growth or forward movement is the antithesis of stagnation.

I don't know about anyone else...but I do not want to be stagnant. Being stagnant to me equals being closed, closed minded, and inflexible. As anyone would know from my profile...I like yoga...which means I like to be bendy...thus I do not want or like to be inflexible. This would mean physically, emotionally, spiritually, as well as mentally. Closed mind=closed heart=closed life=no life. Not for me...as for myself...I will choose pushing forward and learning...which all in all...is what personal growth is all about.

Ramblings...

2008-08-02T22:33:00.000-07:00

Enter stage right...

I've been waiting for you...

What's the rush?

We have business to discuss...

What's the point? It's not like we're really going anywhere...

It's not about the where...it's about how we travel.

Worlds go by and time travels in still images in our memories but if we are not mindful...mindful of the moment we are in...continuously...then we loose the most important lesson we can internalize...

Mindfulness is difficult at best, especially if a person is fully integrated into their mind...or their "ego" according to Eckhart Tolle, and realistically...who isn't? Shutting the world out is much easier than turning off one's thinking. But if one is to find balance, peace, serenity, and as Tolle puts it...space...then we have to be able to turn off that incessant thinking. It's always something. Always...something.

There are a lot of theories and opinions like most things. But what I ponder on...what I really wonder about...is the depth of my self and that "space" in an ever and ongoing search for personal learning and growth. How finite is that space and how vast it is...is a big question...because when I get glimpses of it, I find it an eye opening and exciting experience, but also a bit frightening. Maybe I just haven't accepted a premise yet but I feel very much like I stand on a threshold looking over something larger than an ocean, and it makes me feel excited and uneasy.

As I lay in bed this morning my mind was racing and it wasn't even light yet...maybe 4:30 AM...and it is Saturday morning...I told myself I don't want to think about that...I don't want to think about that either...give me space...just remember...space...and I could get it for a second or two and another thought would muck it up...and I would either be back thinking about something else or fighting the urge to think about something and searching for space and peace again. I eventually fell back to sleep and I dreamt but I awoke to the same fight...several issues...same problem...stress.

I know that the more I stress...the more I harm myself. I know that I have habits that could and should be bettered. I know that without staying mindful about what I am thinking, what I eat, what I am doing to "do" in my life, what I am planning for, working for, hoping for, and what I am expecting, I will do more to harm myself than help myself.

Mindful about health, mindful about wealth, mindful about how I feel, mindful about my relationships, and mindful about what my focus is on.

When you lose your focus...you have a problem. When you are not mindful...you do not have peace.

Newness...

2008-06-21T09:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes...I don't know about you...but I get restless and I am unsure of where it comes from. I get this feeling deep down in my gut....deep down in my heart & soul...that is stirring and speaking to me...pushing me to move on to somewhere else...and most of the time...I am not sure where this "else" is...I just know that I get this feeling of wanting something new...new to work on and get excited about...new to me...new to my sense of creativity...new to my heart....new to my body and mind...just...new.

Newness...it describes something as fresh...out of our understanding and experience...difference...not the same old routine...a pivot...like when we get a new car...or a new home...a new place to live...a new job...a new relationship...a new child to raise....a new hobby...a new friend...a new lease on life...travel to a new place...a new discovery...a new lesson learned...the joy from this...there's nothing like it.

I am always on the lookout for something new to me...something I don't "know" but want to learn...but it occurs to me that there are ways of being that are foreign to me. Ways in the world I do not relate to.

For example...I do not know what it is like to not have a problem with my weight. Some folks have never been heavy so they can't relate to how a person gets 100 + lbs overweight. I don't get how they can maintain a healthy "normal" weight. I first gained extra weight at age 8 yrs. I have tried...I have lost a lot of weight at one time...I have made changes...and still...here I am...and I am sick about it...both emotionally and physically...literally...hell of a price to pay...for hiding from my pain.

Another example would be money. I grew up middle income...as an adult I have been poor, raising 3 kids, barely scraping by with bare cupboards, getting evicted and literally put out on a curb with my kids in tow by a sheriff...and have also been various levels of middle income...but have not been able to breach that ceiling. I work like a slave, I try to learn and educate myself on financial matters and be financially literate...but I just don't ever seem to pull away from where I am stuck at...much like my weight...maybe even for the same reason...I don't know...

I work for other people...the safety and security of having a position that is dependable where I have some challenge but a lot of structure...which I constantly battle against and conform to all at the same time...where my time is not mine...my time belongs to someone else...an illusion...yes I know...but all the same for all intents and purposes...it is a truth during those hours...for a paycheck...for retirement...for insurance...for the safety of my family and myself...for what? Am I not capable of anything else....anything more...to grow my own...something?

New...newness...I guess it also represents freedom doesn't it? A feeling of freedom at least. I mean I understand that it isn't really being free...but it does have a representation of freedom...again...an illusion....but at least a sense of it...

Freedom from what exactly? Freedom from my way of being in the world? Freedom from the life I have always known and lived? Freedom from repetitive mistakes that create drives and needs of which I have outgrown? Or is it simply freedom from habits? Old ways of being that I now recognize as unhealthy and wasteful? Ways of being that are making me sick and pushing me towards living something new...living something different...living...truly...living.

New...different...change...

Change comes hard to me. It isn't that I don't like it because I like....new. I like going into uncharted waters and exploring to learn and grow. I get off on that.

But I like the familiar too...and it is comfortable...reassuring...safe..secure...home...no fear...no challenge either..but no fear...

Hmm...maybe fear is the real issue...doing something that scares you...breaking down the fears and walls...because I do LOVE "that" feeling. Striking fear in the heart of fear. Is that the same thing as doing something that scares you to death? Maybe...maybe...

All I feel like I know...is that my personal challenge...is to become a better me...and I don't know if there is anything more to life than that...

Questions in the meantime...

2008-06-17T20:40:00.000-07:00

When was the last time you looked in the mirror and were surprised by who was staring back at you?

When was the first time you realised you had some "thing" that others admired?

Who was the first person you realised was not who you thought they were...and you were glad?

What was the last situation...that you truly told someone what you thought...because it was the right thing to do...and not the convenient thing to do?

When were you first wounded by someone you trusted...and what music do you relate to that experience?

Somehow...it has been on my mind that the experiences we find painful are also attached to music from our lives...and that music is sometimes a way for us to retrace the experience and the pain...in a bittersweet, nostalgic, painful reminder of where we were when __________ happened.

If questions were expectations and answers were invitations then we could expect to be invited to opportunities that were beyond our limited understanding and look forward to our growth.

Wouldn't it be nice if we all were focused on our own personal growth and forward motion.

The good news is some of us are and there are others that can be related to. The hard part is distinguishing those in search of their own growth from those that play at it but aren't really interested in being more than they are.

Sometimes that is time consuming and discouraging because one invests time into relationships just to find that the person isn't who they presented themselves to be.

Ahh but if it weren't for these experiences what would we learn from and how would we know?

So our experience is our teacher and our time is it's limit of success.
Tiz...

Do questions answer or do they teach? Do answers invite or do they reproach? Do invitations entice or do they lend themselves to opportunities?

For each of us we will have different answers to these questions...but it is most intriguing as to where it will take you...

Once in awhile...

2008-04-25T23:57:00.000-07:00

Once in awhile...

I see something in my life that makes me just stop...and appreciate what I have...and what it means to me.

Once in awhile...I am impressed...with someone that crosses my attention span...that speaks to me in a way that stays with me.

Once in awhile...I hear the music playing...without even having to listen...and it takes my breath away because I know...I know...it is from God.

Once in awhile...I catch the light in my wife's eyes...and see how she glows from the inside with a beauty that I can not even imagine.

Once in awhile...I can create the art that is actually in my heart...and when I can...I hear thunder and I see past the light.

Once in awhile...I am briefly aware and in a moment...totally...completely...submerged and overwhelmingly present...so that I can see...the beauty that truly is...and I am exposed to.

Once in awhile...I shut up long enough to hear the small still voice inside my heart...where I hear God speak to my spirit...and love me.

Once in awhile...I look at my children...and I love them with my sight, with my attention...with my mind...with my heart and spirit...with my voice...and with my life.

Once in awhile...I search who I am to find that I can never be who I want to be...but I always return...to who God made me to be.

Once in awhile...I hear meaning...and wisdom...and once in awhile I am humble enough to recognize it...accept it...and let it ring in me.

Once in awhile...I remember how fragile my life is...and I remember how close to the edge I stand daily...and I hope...and I pray.

Once in awhile...I get to love and be loved...and I appreciate each moment...and remember what my life is about...and I fight to be healthy.

Once in awhile I blog...and write...and create...and cringe...because I never really believe I deserve the things I've been given.

Once in awhile I see a sunset that takes my breath away...because I know my dad is up there...painting those sky's for God...and welcoming me back home.

Once in awhile I hear truth...and it rings in my heart like a bell...and I feel the hair on my flesh raise...because I know God has just sent me a message.

Once in awhile...I feel...and I feel colors...and I feel thoughts...and I feel freedom...and I feel trapped...and I feel stupid...and I feel humble...and I feel...which allows me...to be...healthy.

Once in awhile...I find it hard to fight...and I find my weakness...which angers me...and I don't like what that creates in me.

Once in awhile...I get gas...terrible gas...painful gas...and it has to be passed...which makes me...ultimately....very human.

Once in awhile...I remember how much I love to laugh...how much laughter brings joy to my life...and how much I can relate to other human beings by finding the funny.

Once in awhile...I find myself.

Once in awhile...I am.

A terrible tragedy

2008-02-18T21:10:00.000-08:00

I am only posting on this blog to say....(and to point to my other blog which has a bit more info)...that I am so profoundly sorry for the loss that Gina, Walt, & family are suffering right now. Please put them in your prayers and send good thoughts as well as some well wishes to them. I can not even imagine what G is going through right now...and for the last almost week...

These are not thoughts to dwell on...except to say that we all need to appreciate those we have in our lives...and remember to act on this consistantly...so that we love (read love = act, action, verb) each other...

May God bless us all...and help us to remember and love each other...

James....you will be remembered.

Happiness...

2008-01-12T08:01:00.000-08:00

As I enter a new year...and a new chapter in my life...I have been reflecting lately on what I want and ultimately where I am headed in my path. Yesterday I woke up in an OK mood...but I decided that I wanted to be happy for this day...no matter what is going on...I WANT to be happy...so I am gonna be. I tell this to myself before I have even risen out of bed...and I continued reinforcing it after I was up...thinking that I am in a good mood and have so much to be grateful for...that I am a happy man.

Ya know what? I was happy...all morning...my wife got up and even asked me what I was so happy about...and I looked at her...lovingly...and told her what I believe with ALL of my heart...and that is....I choose to be happy...being happy is a choice...and I choose to be happy. This is how I started my day.

During my day I heard all about how people's lives are messed up.

Anger...depression...anxiety...medications...a suicide attempt in one case...having less than the support one would want to be happy...all kinds of stuff...and I just kept on working that happiness factor...worked my whole day...tension and constant movement all the day long...lunch was a blur of errands...even after work...a run to the bank before I could get home in enough time to have my wife leave for the evening to hang out with her friends...Harmony do the same...so it was just Sarah Bear and I...but I miss her...so we had a blast...and she turns to me...while sitting in my lap and snuggles in to my chest...and says...I love you...SOOOooo much...

Make my heart melt...I am happy...I am a happy man...

Even with a house that still has a tree branch pierced through the roof and a hole above the garage...even with having to drive a rental car because we had the best beach car I have ever had smashed into being a pick up...even with insurance companies making things difficult for us...and testing our patience...even with both of my kids with Cystic Fibrosis not very healthy and scaring the crap out of me...even with a new job that is overwhelming in so many ways it is a stress factory...and my wife's new job that is effecting her in similar ways...even with glass covering my front yard from the car...even with not having a musical outlet currently in my life...even with my weight problem and the medical problems that it creates and I am currently trying to deal with...and this is just a short list mind you...there is sooo much more...I am a happy man because I have a family...with good...solid...loving people whom I trust...and can trust in me...I am a happy man.

I believe...that diversity of this nature gets heaped upon a person when they are doing well....doing what they are supposed to be doing...in their lives...to help others...because the forces that we fight against work towards our destruction...and our failure...but I also believe...that none of that can be one's reality...unless one allows it...and that...is ALL...attitude.

It is all a choice.

After having this hard...but great day...last night...after the girls are back safely at home and all is well...the show 20/20 comes on...and what are they talking about? Happiness. What does it mean and how does it work? What were their conclusions?

I love it when my words come out of someone else's mouth.

Happiness is a choice they report. Happiness has more to do with attitude and less with genetics or environment. The nature vs nurture debate...the argument in psychological circles goes...that about 50% of who we are and how we get there is made up of our genetics...(nature)...and about 50% of who we are and how we get there is made up of our environment...(nurture)...and on this show...they said in regards to happiness...that 50% is genetic....maybe 10% is environment...and 40% is attitude. You choose your level of happiness and fulfillment. It is up to you. They had a pair of identical twins who tested in very different places on a happiness scale and who run very different lives. The difference then...obviously is not genetic...they have the "same" DNA....it is attitude. Attitude creates one's environment as well...so it is not simply environment...it "is" attitude.

What makes us happy?

A sense of safety and security...and a sense of purpose in and for our lives. It is feeling secure...and feeling fulfilled. A lack of either of these...and one will feel on edge...feel like something is missing. They will search for something to fill the void...be it security or purpose.

So...as I have said in earlier postings...I will choose to be positive and look at the bright side...look at what I think is worth putting my focus on...focus...on putting my house in order...inside first...then my outside...to balance...because this is the flow of life...and the flow of one's life...is how one achieves happiness and balance...

The show also talked about bliss...doing whatever your bliss is...and I have talked about the same in this blog before...although I think I used the word joy. Bliss...good word...I like it...one's bliss...one's joy...different for each of us but the same too...find your bliss...find your joy...and work at that....DO IT!....use whatever that is for you...and balance your life out............create...your...life. If you create a good life....secure and safe...with meaning and purpose...fullfillment....and a positive attitude...you are likely...to be happy. I wish this for everyone who reads this blog....I hope for it myself...and I choose to choose it...in my personal journey.

Namaste

A Final Thought for 2007...

2007-12-30T21:43:00.000-08:00

In this last year we have seen so much...had so many differing experiences...that in some ways it is dizzying to me because of the variety and depth...

There has been such extreme negativity and such pain...and yet...in the last year...there has been such enormous prevailing hope and continuity of the human spirit...there has been such depth, courage, love, understanding, and guileless optimism...I find it difficult to find fault in where we are headed...even with plenty of blame to spread around...I see a bright future...although realistically I also see major changes in our near future collectively.

I have found in my own search a profound need to be centered on meaning. To find the things in my world and perception that need....NEED....my attention...my focus...my thought...my depth...

I have written about several of these subjects in this blog. I have focused on the things that have struck me as profound and I have spent my time and my energy on thoughts and assertions that I deemed worth my energy. Again I will state that this is a forum for my own thought and attempt at wisdom...or at the very least a desire for and search towards thought and understanding that will lead to growth.

I have been in the business of instruction, advising, and guidance....for many years now. I am at least fairly good at it...not as good as some...better than others....good days...bad days...and basically....from a profoundly fundamental standpoint...I am just passing on those things I know...or at least...seem to understand ...to stay in line with an earlier blog. But if you have been reading me...listening...paying attention....you will have noticed one foundational theme with my writing. I work from the position of optimism and positive perspective.

Even in questions of and conversations dealing with negativity...I still attempt to put a positive spin on my perspective...because quite frankly...I do not see...nor do I find...any worth or value...in negativism...skepticism...rhetoric...critique...for each of their own sakes...the only time each of these things even might find value...to my perception...is when it is used as a teaching tool...but these things being used as tools...MUST...have an underlying lesson...foundational idea...a message...a...meaning...because if there is no foundation...no message...no....meaning...then skepticism...rhetoric...critique...have no purpose...no real voice...and therefore are being presented as nothing more than antagonism...and this...is utterly useless. There is no lesson. There is no message. There is no meaning. It is truly...a waste of time.

Why...would any person...choose...to waste their time...in this fashion...is beyond my understanding. I choose not to. If I write something here...in this place...it is for a reason and a purpose...there is a message...and a meaning. Now there can certainly be debate in how useful, needed, or wanted these meanings and messages might be. I do not claim to be profound. I only assert that some of the things I have written have been profound to me. But in everything I have tried to get across...I have worked at placing a purpose at the heart of my intention. A meaning...and a reason.

I will continue to do so in the years to come.

Regardless of what debate might lead to...I am certain...within myself...that I am approaching everything I do in my life...with a reason...an intention...an assertion...and therefore a meaning. Even meaningless activities contain meaning for me at this point. I view even those seemingly mundane things previously viewed as purposeless activities, as purposeful in that I need to vent stress and often that can be done in activities that from the outside seem pointless.

But in everything...there is a point. In everything...there is a reason. I may not even understand what the reason is...because I am so far from omnipotent...it's a joke. But there is a reason. Even in those things that are most often viewed as tragic...one does not heal from them...or even accept them...until one can see the growth from it...and therefore put it into a positive light.

Those that are forever wounded by an event...and never heal...are like that because they can not accept...and can not reframe it into a positive in their own lives and perceptions. They just get stuck.

Therefore...there is no point in finding fault...there is no purpose in finding blame...there is no value...in searching for what is wrong....the only truly valuable thing there is ultimately...is in finding how to take something...and see the light in it...to find the good...to sift and search...and find that which is the lesson...and learn from it...so that one may heal...and move forward...and move on...

This...is my mission...and this...is my purpose.

May 2008 be even more awesome and carry with it more growth and depth than the year past. God bless you to every eye that reads these words and ear that hears the message.

A thought...

2007-12-14T22:59:00.000-08:00

How is a thought tied to so much that we own and so much meaning that we take on? Is it that we are simply what we think? Are we that simple or is it deeper than simple reflection?

If we think about something it affects us...meaning how we feel. If we feel something then it will change our perception. Our behaviour is challenged and changed by what we feel as well as what we think. So if we think something then it can change how we feel as well as how we behave.

So...what we think...really...is who we are. If one simply concentrates on ideas and opinions....perceptions and points of view...we will begin to see who we are...because who we are is in what we think.

Unfortunately...most of us do not live by this understanding and are not careful with our thoughts. We allow negativity, suspicion, stress, frustration, resentment, and immaturity to rule our minds. The person that we hurt the most in doing this is ourselves. Can we truly be honest and respectful in our lives if we allow these negative and destructive paths to lead us?

I truly believe that we need to focus on the things that bring us to our joy.

The problem for many is...they do not even know what their joy...even is. So the question is...how do you discover your joy? If you already know what your joy is...then the quest is how do you participate in your joy? What will it take for you to be happy?

This is a good question because we quite often approach our lives with a get-me-by attitude. But searching for your joy and focusing on being happy are not easy things to do. Attaining the balance needed to be truly happy is a great deal of work and therefore not easy...but it is worth it...because ultimately...balance...is the best way to finding peace...and finding peace...inside oneself....finding balance...is about finding one's joy.

Something to think about...

2007-12-04T13:54:00.000-08:00

I heard a quote today which struck me. I was listening to Deepak Chopra talking about Buddha's teachings and a new book that the good Dr. just wrote titled: Buddha: A Story of Enlightenment. Sounds like a good book...

He said, "a philosophy...that remains a philosophy....is worthless".

Of all the different things that we can look at and discuss...of all the different perspectives that we may take on and debate...of all the principles that we can relate to and grow from...

...it is the depth and breadth of understanding...of one's personal journey...individual growth...and lone path...to know one's self...and...how we integrate into our consciousness...being a part of a system that is so much bigger than we are as an individual...and no matter how we transition through the thoughts, ideas, and moments of our journey...that we will forever be a part of a larger system of life and consciousness...and our goal...our goal in this....

Our goal is to get it...to really get it...

How many of us really do? Really get it...

To see that how we react to a system affects a system...which has an effect on a system. We are permanently impermanent...and just as we are never to own the same moment twice...other than through memory...we will always be a cause for an affect to someone else in the system...which will have an effect on them...which will cause them to pass their affect on to someone else in the system...which will cause an effect on that third party...and so on.

How can we travel through our lives mindlessly affecting...and effecting our system...and take no accountability for this? How can we create such waves and wakes in our system and not be aware to their effects? Are we really people of depth and quality...substance and integrity...love and empathy...if we treat our participation in our system as if we are in the dark and no one can see?

Participation is happening whether one wants to or not just by the nature of the system...because even apathy or dissociating from the system creates an effect. There is a shadow to us all...and we need to be aware of our shadow...because there are things lurking there that can harm us...and harm others...and the fact is...if one stands in the light...there is a shadow...it is only when one stands in the darkness that there is no shadow...but what is the value of staying in one's darkness?...and how will one ever know one's self...if one stays in their own darkness...

Some Interesting Quotes...

2007-11-14T00:12:00.000-08:00

I came across some interesting quotes that...well...frankly...support many of the assertions I have made in several of my blogs...and these things I believe to be true...at least I can say they ring with truth to me...enjoy.

Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk.
Carl Jung

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
Buddha <--This one is Mindfulness

A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.
Abraham Maslow

Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment.
Lao Tzu

As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.
Socrates

The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Mohandas Gandhi

Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others.
Plato

You shape your own destiny.
Chet Atkins

All difficult things have their origin in that which is easy, and great things in that which is small.
Lao Tzu

Conflict cannot survive without your participation.
Wayne Dyer

A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.
Buddha

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
Carl Jung

We all have a social mask, right? We put it on, we go out, put our best foot forward, our best image. But behind that social mask is a personal truth, what we really, really believe about who we are and what we're capable of.
Phil McGraw

It's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are our teachers - they help us to learn.
John Bradshaw

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
Carl Jung

The unexamined life is not worth living.
Socrates

Everything you are against weakens you. Everything you are for empowers you.
Wayne Dyer

He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty.
Lao Tzu

All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.
Buddha <--This one is Systems Theory

I eventually gave up being an analyst. You had to be too passive and not speak up.
Albert Ellis

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
Wayne Dyer

Character may almost be called the most effective means of persuasion.
Aristotle

Years from now, after I'm gone, someone will listen to what I've done and know I was here. They may not know or care who I was, but they'll hear my guitars speaking for me.
Chet Atkins

Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Action expresses priorities.
Mohandas Gandhi

True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us.
Socrates

He who knows others is clever; He who knows himself has discernment.
Lao Tzu

Education is the best provision for old age.
Aristotle

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.
Lao Tzu

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Plato

It is better to travel well than to arrive.
Buddha

Man's heart away from nature becomes hard.
Standing Bear

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.
Buddha

Be the change that you want to see in the world.
Mohandas Gandhi

A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.
Lao Tzu

Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world.
Mother Teresa

If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.
Lao Tzu

Be careful for what you are shooting for...because you are likely to hit it.
Doc Mompean <--OK OK...I couldn't resist throwing one of my own quotes in LOL

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Change in all things is sweet.
Aristotle

If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve.
Lao Tzu

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is a habit.
Socrates

In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Wisdom begins in wonder.
Socrates

At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.
Lao Tzu

What do you think?

The rhetorical question...

2007-10-26T00:27:00.000-07:00

The American Heritage dictionary cites a rhetorical question as being: A question to which no answer is expected.

The same dictionary also defines rhetoric as: 1. The art or study of using language effectively and persuasively. 2. A style of speaking or writing. 3. Language that is pretentous or insincere.

Having a definition is a great place to start with a journey...

About this term...I will be clear here...I personally am not interested in being pretentous nor am I interested in being insincere. There is no value in this to me and I have no interest in my being in the world through either of these lenses.

I am interested in the art of using language effectively and pursuasively...but in my opinion...effectively and persuasively actually includes definition and meaning in what is being said...otherwise it is essentially...simply...talking without actually saying anything...and quite frankly....what is the point of simply blowing wind?

I am more interested in depth...and I think my postings attempt to do this...and I will continue to pursue doing the same...

So...rhetorical questions...are really just for making a point...but they are not really a way of discussing anything of depth, personal value, or meaning...because by definition...one is not looking for an answer...or to use an old adage...one can not see the forrest for the trees.

How does one define integrity? A personal definition?...

Again the same dictionary defines integrity as: 1. Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code. 2. Soundness. 3. Completeness; unity.

So...personal integrity...it should include the above definition...and be added to because it is personal...of course this is my opinon. But it is a deep question...because most people are not honest with them selves...much less being honest with their wife/husband....children....parents...siblings...employer...so how much personal integrity is one living with if one isn't even the least of what qualifies unity and completeness? Soundness? Morality or ethical codes? How much self respect is one living with if one does not have personal integrity? These are not....rhetorical questions...they are deep....meaningful...respectfilled personal questions that....again in my humble opinion....should be asked by every individual...and not just asked...but answered.

What does it mean in your life? What defines your personal integrity? What defines your self respect? How closely are you living up to what you think you should be doing? Are you close...or are you still searching for what this is...in your own life?

Language is important...and usuage of language is important...but if it does not contain meaning...then...well...what are we doing that has any real importance or value? Where is the personal growth? I would invite the reader to read one of my older posts. http://thethoughtlounge.blogspot.com/2007/05/meaning-making-machines.html

Personally...I am interested in my own growth as a person...my own development...my ability to understand depth...not simply rules...the lessons of the ten thousand things...and the letting those ten thousand things go...to again refer to and quote a very old text.

Namaste

Response to two...too...

2007-10-14T09:06:00.000-07:00

Marc Malkin said...
TOPICS

Workplace Taboos

Knowledge as function, mechanical function, is necessary. Knowledge, in relationship, in human relationship, is destructive.

Attachment disorder

Since I have spoken on knowledge in a couple of the most previous posts I thought I would add just a bit to it....by this request...just for fun.

Knowledge as function...mechanical function...is necessary. I wholeheartedly agree with this statement as I'm sure anyone who is living in the United States in this day and age probably would. Most of our lives is managed and in even some cases controlled by mechanical function. Vehicles for travel, alarm clocks and watches for being prompt, ovens, refrigerators, and microwaves for feeding ourselves and families, computers for our knowledge, professional pursuits, entertainment, and communication, cell phones, home phones, IPods, TV's, radios, medical tools and functions, power tools, railways, planes, trains, heavy equipment, and on and on...

Just in our medical community alone...the growth, development, and advances that are keeping us as a society and community healthier are adding to not only our collective length of life but also...and in some ways more importantly...the quality of our lives. If one wanders back just a hundred years ago the quality of life has risen dramatically.

Knowledge in relationship...in human relationship...is destructive. This to me is more of a cynical statement...or maybe it is a question...although either way there is some truth in it. It can be destructive. But...even though I do say there is truth in it...I do not believe that the statement...in and of itself...is true. Knowing that your partner is human and fallible is important to being able to "forgive them their trespasses"...to quote a famous prayer.

Knowing a partners personal ideosyncratic peculiarities allows us to be human together and form a true partnership...one based in equality...and of course I am describing a primary relationship. This philisophical statement is also true for friendships and family...professional relationships...and community relationships as well...but it is in the primary relationship with one's significant other that this philosophy is most true.

My personal assertion is that while knowledge can be painful...it is the honest expression from the people with whom you are having these relationships with...that creates open communication...and therefore...is a healthy thing. Be it positive or negative information. No one enjoys being hurt and I think personally if there is something that one believes will hurt someone else they know...especially if it is a close relationship...the information should be handled with care...but I do believe that the old adage "honestly is the best policy"...is true. Now having said that...I also believe the feelings of the person being addressed are very important as well...so there needs to be a balance between expression of opinion and empathy.

But if the "knowledge" is not opinion...but information....as in...I did something that you should know about...then this question filters down to one of personal integrity and quite frankly...my opinion on this subject is rather strong.

If...it is a matter of telling someone of information in which you know will hurt...especially it if is information that involves an act of your own that exemplifies your own "lack of" personal integrity...then it is healthier...to be honest...and start again from a place that is open and clear. It is painful...and can be wrenching...and there is something to be said for timing in when to lay it on the line...but in my opinion...holding back the truth is dishonest, non-authentic, and completely anti-genuine.

One's own personal integrity is really all we as individuals own. We can only...really...be as good as our word and who we are as people...so it is in this frame that your statement holds validity Marc...because if the knowledge we understand...is to be harmful to someone in our lives...the most painfilled truths...are those which involve our own lack of personal integrity. Be it our own act or holding knowledge of anothers...for the purpose of hiding truth from those we care about.

I will say this...there is an arguement for keeping something from someone for the sole and intended purpose of "not" hurting them...and I think we have all...or at least most...done this at some time. There are times when this seems to be valid and...honestly I don't have all the answers as to when this discretion is valid and when it is not...but I do hold that more often than not...the right thing to do...is to be honest...with diplomacy and empathy for the respondants feelings...but all the same...tell the truth.

I have found in my experience and observations...that the lack of truth....is more destructive to relationships...and tears people down. In knowing that the person one thought they could trust to be open and honest...isn't. So...tell the truth.

The book reference...

2007-10-13T11:47:00.000-07:00

Hiya Terry...and everyone...

I just wanted to hand out the name of that book I brought up in my other post...it was late at night when I wrote that other post....ya know how it is....I have to take advantage of the times the two year old is asleep LOL...anywah...I dug it out and just wanted to share...

The name of the book is "As The Future Catches You (How Genomics & Other Forces Are Changing Your Life, Work, Health & Wealth) by: Juan Enriquez. "Juan is the director of the Life Sciences Project at Harvard Business School" <--from the jacket of the book.

Good book and a quick read...and an insight as to where we are heading.

Enjoy...

I liked your last quote...and I highly agree with the good father. As far as your assertion that a knowledgeable person is not necessarily wise...I wholeheartedly agree...some of the most educated people I have met....are the least wise as well.

First Response...

2007-10-11T22:50:00.000-07:00

Anonymous said...
"Thank you, for the invitation. I'll have a go at it. The intent is to playfully, play the role of the critic with the interest of provoking your intellect, challenging your position and raise your skill. This course of discourse, I choose is only beneficial to us both if in fact the true spirit of your invitation is in the manner of the democratic judgment. Rather than creating an oppositional attitude.

“Anchors”

I was challenged to overcome the confusion of ideas’. And statements that I, believe unintentionally insult the reader. Or I missed the purpose of this entirely. The subjective opening was a respectable introspective story. However, the change in tone within the second paragraph is bewildering. I am still unsure if it was your attempt to present satirical write. A comically ironic Wood Allen’esk Characterization of a wax-prophetic nincompoop.

First, that "there is very little that we actually know in this life."

This remark seems to arise from a time long past. As though, you are borrowing from someone else’s idea. Not a very contemporary idea. Today, I read the distaining remark on human intellect and knowledge with wonderment. Human intellect and knowledge have progressed considerably. Having come through the age of discovery, energy and entering the information stage. Some authorities on the matter are actually calling this era we live in the "Information age". Not because of the World Wide Web or advancing forms of electronic communications. Is that what you think, “The Information Age” means?

The use of the pronoun “we” as a way to avoid a subjective tone. Was that your intent? There is a considerable amount that "we" know. For GOD sakes man, "we" can actually measure the amount of uncertainty associated with the value of X. You down with Entropy? Ya, you know me !!“We” can land a probe on a planet some 48 million miles at its smallest distance to our planet. And study it.

Second, that our "fallible" and "imperfect" senses cloud our perceptions.

You discredit your own assertion of uniqueness, by finding fault in the very tools with which uniqueness can be surmised. From first to last these imperfect and fallible senses provide you with an ability to conjecture. And an attempt to strengthen your position by demonstrating the limitations of human optics is by no means, defining fault with the senses. Nor backing up your claims. If you want to see farther down the railroad tracks … pick up a pair of Binoculars. ("we" discovered the limits of human optics ages ago… that’s why "we" created telescopes, micro-scopes etc...) Thank you, Galileo Galilei. Please, read “Sensors, Filters, and the Source of Reality"ROBERT G. JAHN AND BRENDA J. DUNNEPrinceton Engineering Anomalies ResearchPrinceton UniversityD-334 Engineering Quadrangle School of Engineering/Applied Science Princeton NJ 08544-5263e-mail: rgjahn@princeton.edu; bjd@princeton.edu

Thirdly, ETHOS, PATHOS, LOGOS.

You attempt to redefine that which has already been defined with poorly contrived mixed metaphors, "Our anchors are those things which keep us grounded and balanced" In fact, the ballast or Keel is what stabilizes a ship. Not the anchor. The anchor is to keep a ship from drifting to far from a desired location. "Grounded", is the one thing a ship never wants to be. What do you mean, when you say; "profoundly anchored …?" And your use of "it"… instead of they or them. "We strive to attain 'them' and then work hard at maintaining 'them' " This would be grammatically correct. However, your meaning was lost somewhere in the continuous us of "it". Stop it !

Lastly, I am familiar with the prose "Do we not…" this and "Do we not…" that. Establish your own prose. Be unique!

You speak to human value. The value of a human. Collectively, "we" will set that price. Throughout human history, rightfully or wrongly. "We" always have made the valuation. You may personally contribute to adjusting the scale. But, "we" will never, nor have we ever allowed a single individual to establish the scale.

I know this last part was a smelly retort. I just couldn't help myself.Best wishes, Keep it real !"

To anonymous...whomever you are...I will first say that I am thankful for your responses and your input. I respect that you have taken the time, effort, and energy to respond to what I have written and I respect what you are saying. I am grateful for your interest and humbled by your interaction. Thank you...

Since we are in this discussion and I am responding to your ideas I want to be able to talk to
"you" and since I do not know who you are or have anything to call you...I will from this point name you simply for the purpose of giving myself a reference for you...as opposed to just calling you anonymous...or anon...or mous...it is a bit more human this way...and since I know nothing about you...I will give you a gender neutral name just to cover all bases.....Terry.

If at any point you wish to correct my feeble attempt at familiarity I openly invite you to do so...but for the time being and with the information at hand...Terry...I will respond to your first post and see if I can clear some things up.

Your opening paragraph set the tone for the rest of what you wrote, and I was glad to see that your stated intent was fun and to be intellectually stimulating which for me is something I am absolutely interested in. I love a good challenge and constructive criticism means I have an opportunity to learn . If you have actually read the rest of my postings then you will understand learning and personal growth are things I am very interested in.

As for the blog about "Anchors"...I am sorry if you felt insulted by my assertion and equally if my writing was not clearly articulated...which may have unintentionally missed the target for you as a reader. Be that as it may...and after going back and rereading the post again myself...I will say Terry...that I stand by what I wrote and the assertion I made in the blog. Let me please explain...

The second paragraph was not meant as satirical nor was it contrived. It is a statement of understanding...explaining that I...as an individual...have not only the belief....but also the humility and depth of understanding...that I am not solely responsible for any intellect, understanding, gift, or wisdom that I possess. I believe that I collect things along my path...as a beachcomber collects shells and sand dollars among the drifting waves...

The ideas...perceptions...beliefs...faith...understanding...education...and even a shot or two of wisdom...these things and more I pick up along the journey...but I am not arrogant enough to believe that I am who I have become, simply and solely because of me. Frankly that thought is just too simplistic and as persons of depth and intellect we should see that we are not responsible for all that we understand. It was this place of collective wisdom in me...that I am not solely responsible for what I understand...that other forces....God...other people...fate...faith...Karma....call the sources whatever labels you will....they have all contributed to my growth and development...This is what I stated in the second paragraph...and it led me to the point of the blog....anchors....

Now...I seem to have touched some chord with you on this point...so let me start by saying...the word anchor...has more than one definition...it is certainly used and understood to be related to nautical activities and while I will say that I much appreciate your schooling me on the finer points of a nautical vessel and the correct usage of a ballast and keel...again...I stand by not only my usage of the word....but it's meaning as well...and you actually made my point for me...let me explain.

In the American Heritage Dictionary...the first definition of
"anchor" is that of a boat anchor....but the second...says...and I quote...
"2. A source of security or stability." It is to this reference I wrote to and in this context in which I made my assertion...we all...all human beings....use things in our lives to give us a feeling of safety and security...stability...if you will...so while I actually did not make a nautical reference...I did reference the word correctly...for a source of security or stability...is something that keeps us grounded....and balanced...it is something often used in the therapeutic world and I beg forgiveness for not being more clear...but I would invite you to go back and reread the blog....I did...more than once...and that is the foundation from which I write this response.

As for the comments concerning what we know...you are right!....absolutely right!!!...my reference hark ens back to ages ago...multiple millennia in fact...it comes from Plato's book "The Republic" as he was referencing teachings of Socrates and I by no means meant for this idea to come across as original. Far from it. Again I apologize if my writing reads as something it is not...I meant no disrespect to Plato...or Socrates...or to the reader...but I find...that even though these thoughts were written more than a couple thousand years ago...they are still as true today....if not more so...than as when they were first put down...pen to paper...again...please allow me to explain...

I used a clumsy reference to our senses to create a hypothesis...being that we do not "know" much of anything...but this reference is frankly true...and has again and again been proven scientifically in laboratories...our five senses are not as sharp as we would love to believe...and our greatest achievement...I personally think...as humans...is our brain...frankly...and our brains are extremely fallible...I mean...really.....come on Terry....you don't actually believe...that we as human beings know much....do you? Really?!? Come on....

Nah....I will tell you what I believe we are...what we have achieved...what we are...ultimately....is just cleverness...we are very clever...we are good at being clever....but knowledge? True knowledge?....Sorry Terry...mankind has not proven ourselves in that regard yet...not even close. Let me take what you have given as examples...

Solving for X...um...math...OK...I've studied through Calculus myself and while it is a systematic method of solving a problem...it is simply a tool...you said it yourself...and is used as such. Not to minimize it's complexities because even though I have personally learned higher math...I am not a mathematical kinda guy...Entropy...again a tool to measure disorder...being able to create a tool...is cool....it is clever...very clever...but that...in and of itself...does not equate to knowledge...

We also "know" how to create a rocket that we can fuel, project through a trajectory, land, and communicate with...through millions of miles of space...truly clever!...but...we can't figure out...how to keep a 14 year old from walking into a school...with loaded weapons...(another clever tool)...and shooting other children and teachers...and then themselves. We can not figure out how to stop genocide...in our own time...right now...even though we still have members of the families and military that won WW II for us...and members of our human race that survived the Nazi death camps....all still alive today to tell the story...

We can't get and keep millions of Americans off of alcohol...meth...tobacco...to even save their own lives...not to even mention what kind of atrocities they commit with and to their children...because we don't "know" how...

We have people starving to death in the streets of this country...not a third world country...but right here in the good old USA...and we don't "know" how to get them all fed...children included...

We are at war with two countries so far...at the moment...and have at least another 2-3 that we are seriously threatening...and yet we are leaving China alone...trading as long as the day is...like there is nothing going on...because we don't "know" how to control others...and keep ourselves safe at the same time...

We have a country where respect for self is a dying art...not the common place...not anymore...and families being torn apart because of so many people being overwhelmed...because they individually....and we collectively...do not KNOW what to do...

Suicide rates...drug and alcohol dependency, greed, violence, crime, a degrading of our educational systems, a breakdown of common decency and respect, out of control health care and insurance systems and markets, global trade deficits, honesty, integrity, parenting, divorce, sexual predators, an absolute over population of our prison and jail systems, compassion, caring, corporate malfeasance, gang and organized crime, genocide, murder, racism, sexism, social class war, the separation between "haves" and "have nots", and on and on and on and on....

We don't KNOW....how to repair any of this...and soo much more...

Nah...sorry Terry...we don't "know" much of anything at all.

We have a new religion these days...and that is science...many folks look to science as the new frontier...the new "god"...and don't get me wrong...I appreciate all that science has to offer...I benefit from it personally and I thank God for it every day...but I know it's limitations...and I see it's fallibility. There's so much it has done for us and can do. But...If we were so smart...how come we can't cure the common cold?

How come I have a son who is currently talking to me about his own death...at the tender age of 23...because he has Cystic Fibrosis...and he can not be cured...no one can grow him new lungs...not yet anyway...the best we can offer him is to give him someone else's lungs...and of course only if they die first...and that will only mean he will have a likelihood of another 7-10 years...if he doesn't reject the organs...he might see that anyway...and who knows where the medical community will be by then...with another political system we might actually have a visionary in the white house who sees stem cell research for what it is...a way to save lives...but here we sit...with politicians blocking funding...because they can not agree on whose life it is that should be lost...because let's be honest Terry....someone is going to die...so these folks think they are clever enough to "play God" and know...who should be the one to choose to die...the little young one...or the older one who is already here...do any of us truly know what is right...do you? Do I?

Knowledge...if it is TRUE knowledge...should lead to wisdom....and lets face it...it you Think...you know something...it is wisdom that allows you to KNOW what to do with that knowledge...so come on Terry...really....how much do we really know?...I mean let's be honest here...we are clever hairless little apes...but wise?....sorry man...it just ain't so...not yet anyway...I mean hey...we are working on it...yeaup....but we ain't got it down yet bro...Hey man...you said keep it real...I'm keeping it real...

Oh...and that comment about the "information age". Actually...that term...the "information age" is an economics term...it is not referring to the web...nor is it referring to computers at all...not directly anyway...it comes from a conversation on economics...you know..."agricultural age", "industrial age", "information age"...it is a term that is talking about commerce...NOT electronic communication...but the selling of information...so...to answer your question Terry...yeah I do know what the term means...and where it came from...but...did you know....that we are actually leaving the "information age"?...There are some...like a business professor at Harvard University who has written a book about a very interesting trend in which we are actually steeped in currently. I will try to get the author's name and title of the book for you in my next post...it's a good book and a pretty quick read...but basically he says that we are now entering a new age...a new age is dawning that is now focused on intellectual property...patents...and copyrights...and truthfully...that is why we are farming out all of our information selling to countries like India. That's why anytime you talk to an American company anymore...on the phone...you are actually talking to someone on the other side of the world.

See...first we grew and sold food and other ag products...and then we learned how to build factories to build widgets (that's what we called 'em in business school;)...then we learned that information was valuable and we could make a lot of money with that...and now Terry...now...it is ALL about patents and copyrights....that is why Central and South America are chopping down their rain forests so that they can start growing food...because even though we still do it here some...we are letting that market go...and as for manufacturing...most of it is already gone to other countries too...we farm out our farms and our industries...and now we are doing it with our white collar jobs and businesses as well...the info....and the real money now....is in patents...and copyrights...and this country leads the world in these forms of revenue...by a margin that is staggering...and that is why the gap between the "haves" and "have nots" has grown so far and so fast. It is escalating...and will only get worse. Globally...we are in a dangerous trend...with no end in sight....and we are in trouble because of systems theory...which I will go into in another post...this one is sufficiently long enough as it is...suffice it to say...I should call this one good.

Oh...there is one last thing...before I wrap it up...you wrote a response to my blog from Monday night...and I think you might have misunderstood what I was trying to say there...I was trying to reassure you...because of your comment..."This course of discourse, I choose is only beneficial to us both if in fact the true spirit of your invitation is in the manner of the democratic judgment. Rather than creating an oppositional attitude." I was trying to reassure you that I would not be coming from an "oppositional attitude" for the sake of arguing, competing, or opposing...quite the contrary...I have opinions and I express them...but I try to do so with respect for whomever I am speaking with. When I said I would not participate in something that turned unhealthy...I spoke for myself...and again I hold to that...this is a form of voicing a personal boundary...as well as making a commitment to keeping my self in check as well. But I work with people on a regular basis whom cross such lines at will and while I understand that this does not represent everyone...I still find myself taking such precautions and deeming them necessary because I have learned in my personal experience...that even the most schooled and scholarly can have issues with crossing personal boundaries...and I therefore find it a healthy practice to voice a concern early on simply to have the air clear rather than leaving things in such an ambiguous state.

I hope to post again soon...and again...thank you Terry....and thank you all for the input...I really do appreciate it.

First...let me say...

2007-10-08T23:25:00.000-07:00

WOW!

I am both impressed and excited by reading the responses and I want to acknowledge, honor, and appreciate everyone who has taken the time and energy to respond and give their input as well as make their requests.

I also want to let everyone know why I have not responded in any way until this moment. I have been out of state visiting family and we just got back...late this evening. For family and friends...Joan and Kelly, Bonnie, Judy, and Darleen are all doing well and we had a great visit with all. They were all very happy to see and play and visit with Sarah and I am sure Heather will be blogging about it very soon...hopefully pictures to follow as well.

For those who have responded I will say this at this moment. I am thrilled with the ideas...appreciate the advice...and I am very appreciative of the challenge and critique...as well as the level of both....and also wholeheartedly welcome the opportunity for this....if I may borrow the phrase..."course of discourse"...I shall respond to that particular response in a separate blog dedicated to the ideas, comments, challenges, and critiques of this unnamed source.

To whomever you are...I will say....I immensely and deeply appreciate your thought, insight, and energy to what I have written...and I will give you some of the same in response...all in the spirit with which this blog and my request were created in. I have no interest in oppositional attitudes just for the sake of competition or a war of words. I see that kind of discourse without potential for my personal growth...and my personal growth is why I decided to begin this blog...I have only the desire to exchange ideas and at most mildly spar through intelligent but friendly discourse and philosophies for the sole purpose of personal growth and to have fun. Once play has been extinguished and competition has been firmly implanted in it's place for the purpose of "Winning"...I'm out...because it then can turn to personal attacks and is no longer of any personal interest to me...neither in the giving or receiving roles...

I have no desire...and if one has read my blogs you will see....for doing anything other than pursuing my own growth and my own health. Once any game... intellectual or otherwise....becomes unhealthy to me...then I am ready to pursue another course that will prove to be more productive...all this to reassure and say...I have no desire to make a challenge a matter of personal power and control...I actually spend a good deal of my professional life showing people how to achieve their goals by pursuing another...more healthy course of action. I will also say that I welcome a challenge and difference of ideas...and I am completely capable of agreeing to disagree if that is what is called for....so I welcome the critique and challenge...

So...with that said...I will respond once I have had some sleep...and am more re energized so that I may give you a response worthy or your comments.

To others...Marc....Mike...and G...I thank you for your suggestions...I will be blogging on these topics as I see them interesting as well...I appreciate the advice and will take it to heart...and to Mike...yes...I do still teach...currently I am teaching Psychology...at a two year college....and I enjoy the banter, challenges, and the many differing directions that my students always take us to...and yeah...I think that would be a great series of blogs on these experiences LOL...thank you for the interest.

Anywah...thank you all again and I will get on this as soon as I can.
Thanks again...and I will talk with ya soon ;)

An Open Invitation...

2007-09-18T10:34:00.000-07:00

So far with this blog I have tried to talk about subject specific items and deal with these items in some relatively intelligent manner with the hope that I might actually say something interesting.

It's been a bit of hit and miss but overall I am happy with what I have written and discussed here. I have hoped for more response but in rereading some of the subjects, and my writing as a whole, I can see how I have not been as inviting to you readers as I should...so I would like to do that now.

I invite you to contribute to what is happening here....please...give me some topics you might like to read and have me write about. Things that interest you that I could create a dialog with. I also would invite you to respond by leaving comments on any of the topics I have already covered if you so feel inclined...as well as any of the topics upcoming....I would welcome what you have to contribute and be honored by your voice here. This includes challenges as well as support...who doesn't like a good friendly challenge? I believe this is how we learn...this is the wonderful thing about free speech...we can disagree agreeably...and hopefully learn from each other...

I will interject at this point...I do this not because I have run out of topics...far from it...but I want to be more interactive and for those that visit...make them feel welcome and part of. I know this is my blog but this is also a public forum for thoughts, ideas, and conversation. I hope that I am able to teach some, be entertaining some, and also interact some. Everything up until this point has...as it reads to me...been more from the teaching voice...I would like to keep that...but expand on it to include other things...one of them being your voice as well as mine.

I know I can be long winded and certainly can deal with topics in a heavy handed sort of way...and frankly I am OK with that and don't apologize for it...because it is part of who I am and how I write...but I do not want to alienate anyone from what I started this blog to be and that is a place to share ideas but also be an open forum for an exchange of ideas and thought. Thus the name...

So...without further dalliance...I openly invite you to participate...does anyone have a question or thought to share? You have read many of mine...what are your thoughts on the subject? What should the next subject be? What do you want to talk about? Say....hey....what's on your mind? This is after all...the thought lounge...

Anchors...

2007-08-25T15:06:00.000-07:00

As I travel down the lively and trodden path that I so often choose in my life, I will many times look up and see that I have stumbled in to a rediscovered but forgotten lane, teaming with memories and a completeness that I only know from having reached the end of this circle at a prior juncture. In some ways the story of my life is a story of repetition and recycling of experiences into a new and fresh moment and meaning. While I have seen the cycle of life repeat itself around me many times already and old things become new again...I always understand that it is with this insight and perception that I receive lessons and knowledge...however mundane or creative they might be.

Whatever understanding and knowledge I possess at this moment in my life...I do realize that it is with great leading by someone or something far greater than I. I have been gifted free will in this journey described as life...and I may choose how I perceive and view things about and around me...but it is with a great and profound respect that I humbly accept anything that has been bestowed upon me in regards to any ability to the understanding of any thing.

It is from this deep respect...this place of humility and reverence in my mind and in my soul...that I hold as a place of foundation. An anchor to those things in me that...in a moment of pride or arrogance...I might elevate to actually coming from me...but I know they do not. It is wrong for me to assume myself so superior to another...that I would believe myself more important...more knowledgeable...more understanding...more educated...more compassionate...more empathetic...more creative...or more valuable. I am not.

What I am...is unique.

There is very little that we actually know in this life. Most of the things we think we know...are things we take in through our abilities to perceive the world...our imperfect and often fallible senses. How is it that when standing on a set of railroad tracks...and gazing down the tracks towards the horizon...the tracks seem to converge? Do they converge? No...they do not. How is it that our memory of an event differs from a picture taken from it or a video long since forgotten which documented the memory? How is it that with given the right stimulus...we human beings remember things that never happened? Can we create pseudo-memories? Yes...we can...and we fully believe them. How can it be...that what things we hear...smell...taste...touch...and see...can so often be so different than the exact same things experienced by another standing right next to us?

It is because we are all unique.

But don't we all fail? Don't we all succeed? Do we not all bleed red and live in accordance to our own nature? Do we all feel the same pains and desire the same outcomes when faced with those pains? Do we not all love? So how is it that we are unique...if we are all so much the same? It goes so far beyond our senses and simply our experience. It goes down to the very core of who we are as individuals. Those things each of us sense as important. Those things that we...each of us...base our lives and existence on...what we stake our purpose in...what we anchor ourselves to...

Most of us are profoundly anchored in our sense of safety and security. We strive for attaining it and then work hard at maintaining it. We focus on it actually...at times...to our own detriment. But it keeps us anchored. There are some...for whom....safety and security only come by letting go of things that are held secure...things that are considered by the individual as safe...and it is there...without the appearance of safety and security that this individual feels safe and secure...because they believe that in their lack of safety and security...they are truly living...but it is an anchor all the same...

Our anchors are those things which keep us grounded and balanced. When an individual is most out of balance...it normally is coupled with their being untethered from their anchor...and away from their foundation. No matter how feeble our attempts at reconciliation towards balance come...we will not find our joy...our sense of serenity...our focus...our foundation...when we are untethered from our anchor.

So...I ask you...you who are reading this...what is your anchor? What is it in your life that anchors you?

And...

Do you have your joy? Your......joy....

Not your sense of safety and security...not your money...not your hobby or your profession....unless that is your joy...not your place in life...or your lot....not your accomplishments or those things you've amassed....

What...is...your....joy?

Balance...

2007-08-09T11:04:00.000-07:00

Life is funny ya know? Sometimes...it just seems like life is just raining good stuff down on ya from all angles and all is well...and sometimes one just feels like one is getting all wet. But therein lies the good stuff...the marrow...the place in between....and just when the image of altered balance comes into focus and one can see where their own mistakes lie...the lesson emerges and one has the opportunity to learn.

Out of all the things that we focus on in our lives and all the myriad of messages that are besieged upon us daily...we have a tendency to become very out of balance if we do not pay attention to our priorities and our focus. In the content of our lives there is a hierarchy of importance and yet...our emotions can lead us to a series of choices that, if left to their own destitute and infectious ends, can leave us in a query about the state of our purpose and the dilapidated sense of safety that we coddle and elude ourselves with.

True...we do have a choice as to how we lead or follow...our nemesis...our hearts...as opposed to the logic and rationale of our minds...yet it is truly in our feelings that we loose ourselves and have the potential to loose so much more. We are complex beings and to allot an importance to our emotional life is our destiny and is quite healthy...it can create balance in one who is overly rational...but the balance is one of a very fine line for if the importance allotted is overextended and overemphasized we will surely fall into a deep well of suffering and longing...the likes of which are painful and at worst deadly.

Balance...in and of itself is a simple concept...however to create balance in one's own life, mind, and spirit is a complex task. A task that involves labor and tenacity yet is as subtle as it is vital. A task with meaning and deep reverence to those things held as important but left in a state of graceful abandon and acceptance. A place of personal accountability and integrity holding a deep wealth of wisdom and yet having the ability to be open and flexible to learning new knowledge and new directions.

Balance...means different things to each individual but also has a collective meaning that we all recognize and own in our hearts and understanding. We yearn for balance and for many of us it eludes us with the cunning and stealth of a great hunter/warrior. Even when worked at...often...we come to realize we are still continually making mistakes and choices that although show effort and attempt...leave us no more balanced than before and therefore leave us in a state of question. Do we repeat the mistake and try again...or do we change our tactic and reverse our course? Are we ever to gain an ongoing balance? Is this even a real and true option?

Or is it closer to the fact to say that just as riding a bike...a straight line is actually a series of left turns to center followed by a series of right turns to center to create the illusion of a straight line. The wobbly straight line is actually a wavy line impersonating a straight line. It is only upon close examination that one can tell the true nature. Balance therefore is never a steady course but a series of waves and corrections to bring one back into center. Balance...without it...we have chaos...and with it...we can achieve serenity.

The Flow...

2007-07-24T10:27:00.000-07:00

Many years ago I was in a time in my life where my world was falling apart and I was confused, depressed, and my world had gotten very small. I became a single father...my marriage had failed...and I was at a loss as to where to go...what to do next....so we went camping up the Northern California coast...up past Eureka...and before Crescent City...to try to get my head on straight....and on our way we stopped along a few beaches...just to take it all in...

It was a cold overcast grey afternoon with the surf crashing on the shore. The waves raised up four or five feet as they pounded the sand upon meeting with the earth and as I looked across the stretch of coastline in front of me heaving and swaying back and forth in an eternal and violent dance...I noticed a strange sight. There was a stick...in the surf...stuck firmly in the sand...in the middle of the waves...at an angle...pointing away from the water. I spotted it and thought that it looked strange...this stick...out of sorts...pointing up the beach and towards the woods and mountains as if a figure on a ship of old...leading the way...and I wondered what in the world it was doing there...

I wondered if someone had stuck it there and thought...well...they must have haven't they? Every wave came crashing against it and as each wave pulled itself back into that wet salty expanse of the sea...there stood the stick...proud...strong...fighting...standing...and so I watched this stick...I couldn't take my eyes off of it really...it must have stood three feet above ground so I thought that it must have at least that much below ground level as well...and then another wave hit...with force and ferocity....and then receded as if whimpering back to the sea that it came from...to come back and try again...and yet the piece of driftwood stood...

Wave after wave...it would come in....engulf and completely submerge the stick...and then recede again so that I could see the stick in it's entirety...I was mesmerized.

I stood there...cold...bleak...misted...damp....depressed...curious...wondering...and then quiet...letting the experience just simply take me....I took it in...breathed it in with my spirit...and as I did...I heard the small...still voice...the one that comes when God is trying to talk to you...it is never thunderbolts and lightening for me...it is a small...still voice...and you have to shut the hell up inside yourself to hear it...and in this experience...for me...with this stupid stick...on this cold and damp beach in Northern California...I heard that voice...talking to me...directly....and He said...as I let my mind and my eyes take in this simply yet extraordinary scene...."This...is the flow." I heard it...and then I questioned it.

The flow? The flow....uh...the flow of what? As I asked this I watched another wave come crashing in. He said..."This is the flow...of life. When you are overwhelmed...and life has you engulfed...when life has simply overtaken you...you are submerged". As this finished I watched the wave recede again...and He said..."And then you can breathe".

I watched again...in utter amazement...at how simple...how very simple this message was...and how very accurate. The wave comes in...and the stick disappears...completely under water. The wave retreats and there again I can see the stick standing...and I realized that of course...the stick is standing throughout...even when under the water...it stands...waiting for the water to recede...so that it can again breathe.

Brilliant! In the very moment when I was in dispair...overwhelmed...submerged...I looked up...and God led me to a truth...a truth in life and in the universe...a principle in life.

Everything...runs on this flow. Life, energy, water, physics, gravity, chemistry, geology, health, disease, relationships, communication, politics, philosophy, religion, music, yoga, art, and even God Himself. Even in the worst of it...you will have that wave recede and be able to breathe.

There is pressure applied...pressure maintained...pressure released...and then pressure reapplied. In a circular cycle it just keeps going on round and round...like the rotation of our planet...and the morning stretch we do to squeeze our veins to make our blood flow after we awake from a nights rest. A way of restarting our bodies. Our lives work the same way...we just need to pay attention to the flow...see it...recognize it...take accountability for it...because the flow is there...life is....the flow.

Choice

2007-06-30T09:54:00.000-07:00

It's funny how some things you go through in life are pivots and some things are not...and often the pivots are things we are not expecting would be such life changing events. Some things are obvious...like the birth of a child or sudden death of someone close. In those moments we see our world crumble and fall away...only to give way to a new perception and a new life. One turn and everything we thought we knew is gone...to be replaced by something unexpected and fresh...although many times the newness is not welcome...at least at first. Sooner or later though...we learn...adapt...and become the change we have experienced.

Sometimes it is not such an extreme event that is a pivot for us...and yet it sends us careening into a whole new direction...something we had not expected...and something that has the promise of a new experience.

What we do with our life...our view...our perception....our perspective...from that point on is about choice. How we choose to see things...all things....HOW we see things...IS a choice. We do have freewill in this regard and it truly is freewill although many people choose to be blind to this as a fact. How many times I have heard individuals complain because of "things just being the way they are" and how they don't know how to or "can't" DO anything about it...

Truth is...we choose how we see things...

Sure...environment will play a role in to how an individual is raised and taught to view things...and that is also absolutely true. However...our minds are free...and no one can restrain your mind unless you let them. This is also absolutely true.

Our genetics play a role in this as well...I mean...you are a part of who you came from...and this is also absolutely true...even if that fact is unsettling to you and you do not want it to be true....it is a biological fact...and yet...even in this truth....we have choices as to how we will take this information and process it for ourselves. It is up to us and how we perceive it and what meaning we give to it...which is our choice.

Choice is a funny thing because we always have a choice. Sometimes the choices we see seem to be all negative...but even in the worst situations there is always a choice. It might not be a great choice...but there is always something there...and most of the time...the very least of these choices...has to do with how we choose to see something...and how we will move on based on that choice.

Truth is....how we choose to see it...

Truth is...I choose to choose...and not have my choices made for me...

Truth is...I choose to hope...and I choose to believe I will be blessed for this choice.

Respect

2007-06-24T13:33:00.000-07:00

Respect...is a term that is not nearly used enough in it's proper context and meaning in my humble opinion. For if one truly were to respect something or someone else...they must first respect themselves. So to me...the term respect starts...it begins...with self-respect...and respect for others flows from there. I've heard the same said about love...and I believe it's true.

To respect one's self is a responsibility...to one's self. It is a right. It is a duty. It is an established act of kindness to one's own development. It is part of our personal integrity. It means to be accountable...to one's self. Respect and accountability do after all...go hand in hand...as they should. They are pieces of each other and found in self-respect is accountability. In accountability...is found self-respect. When one has done something wrong...somehow harmed someone else...regardless of intention...what a person might have meant or wanted...by taking accountability...especially to those that one loves and cares the most for...is showing one's respect for self. Your own personal truth...must have accountability in it...for if you are not accountable to yourself...then how can you possibly be accountable to others?

If one respects themselves...they work at bettering themselves. If one respects the life one has been given....and the multitude of opportunities...the host of chances that come one's way...then taking every day to be and do your best in who you are...and how you live...is making the most...of those chances and opportunities.

Establishing a forward movement in one's life that includes caring for self but also shares caring for others leads to respecting self...because by caring for others we gain our self worth. If all we do is attempt to care for self and our self interests then we are not respecting the contribution that we are capable of making nor are we embracing the opportunities we are given to contribute to the well being of another. In being so selfish and ego driven...we are in a sense jailing ourselves in our own makeshift prison.

We sometimes do not recognize our situation as such...because our perception is awkwardly askew...which may happen for a wide variety of reasons...but the bottom line is...we create our own world. It is "our" world...and in "our" world the way we see things is king. But by a simple shift in perspective...looking at something from a different angle...we can create an "AHA!" moment. A moment that is truly inspirational and pivotal...in our growth. When one takes a look at problem solving...the shift in perspective usually comes when a person can reorganize a problem...and see it from a different place.

Many times...we as imperfect human beings...do not see what is "really" going on because of the place that we stand...our placement for our perspective...and if we do not move...shake it up a bit if you will...then we will only see things in one way...which by definition makes us short sighted...and limits our view.
This also is disrespectful to others...because we are inherently imperfect...we many times do not see things as others might...because of our limited set of experiences that we draw from. We can negate the opportunity to learn something important from someone by dismissing them too quickly...without hearing them out and seeing if what they are saying might have some truth in it. Something we can learn from. Even those with a wide and varied set of experiences in life are capable of short-sightedness and therefore can, if they aren't careful, disrespect themselves and others by being closed to new possibilities. That closed mindedness and lack of vision disrespects ourselves because we limit our opportunities to learn. This also limits God's voice in our hearts because we will stubbornly not listen to a truth being told to us...and many times...it is told to us repeatedly.

As I said in another post...when the truth is told to a person it rings in them like a bell. Sometimes...if it is a particularly strongly held truth...one might even physically feel a reaction as their spirit, energy, mind, or soul...however you might choose to categorize it...recognizes the truth...and the reaction creates an involuntary response because of this recognition.

Truth is...how we see it. But the truth is...what is true...is true...no matter how much we might protest. A simple truth...disrespecting one's self...is all too common...and all too avoidable...which to my way of seeing things...my perspective...makes this element in an individuals life a tragedy...for if one thought enough of one's self to respect one's self...well...oh what a world it could be...what a joy one could bring to others...and thereby themselves. What a blessing we could be to each other...if we only respected ourselves...and by doing so...respected each other.

Maybe...if we respected ourselves...and thereby each other...we wouldn't have to hear so much about things like this other post...and our world and society would be a better place to live in...this is from my other blog which can be found in my links section...about a recent experience of ours...

911what-is-your-emergency

May God be with this man and his family...and with us.

And...may we teach...and learn...to respect ourselves...and each other...so that this sort of thing can become simply stories which are told of how things used to be...

Moments...Truth...and Being in the Now

2007-06-11T16:41:00.000-07:00

We live our lives in the most fleeting slivers of time. Moments...that if taken for granted can be missed. Opportunities and chances for growth...shared trickles of movement that lead us to another level...or another thought...and another space...where another moment can take place.

In any given moment a miracle can happen. A message of truth given to you by the heavens..by God...by another's spirit...by the truth that lives within each of us that is untapped yet exists as clearly and focused as the rush we get up our spines when someone speaks a truth to us...

When someone speaks a truth to you...it rings in you like a bell. Things that you recognize...as truth. There are times when you might not be ready to accept that truth...so you find a "reason"...a justification really...to ignore or otherwise disregard it...but it still rings that bell.

Truths like;
Common sense is not common.
Love conquers all.
Communication is the key.
One lives their life in a series of moments...and the moments pass.
Time is a healer.
and...
The value is in the journey...not the destination.

Hearing the bell inside you and responding to the sound of a truth is as natural as breathing however there are those of us and times I think...for all of us...that we get in our own way. In those moments where a justification is more important for one than hearing an actual truth...hearing the real...then we know we are not in the now. We can not be fully present if we are not in the moment. If you are there but not really there then it doesn't really matter to those around you...if you are not fully engaged.

Being in the now...is hard....making no mistake about it...keeping in each moment is actually virtually impossible because even watching the moments pass takes one out of the moment...however...the lesson is in staying in the moment to the best of one's ability...which to me...means...not numbing out...or engaging in or seeking behaviors that cause you to get out of the moment...stay numb...not being present...and even though there are times when we all seek those moments...because we get overwhelmed...life....is just...too...damned...short...to keep getting caught up in that repetitively...it is a trap...

As hard as it is...staying in the now...being here...right where you are right now...staying in your truth....and staying in your moment...is the real...is where God can do His work...and is where you can find yourself...is where one can find their own personal truth...and find their serenity...
As the wind blows....

Meaning Making Machines...

2007-05-28T23:52:00.000-07:00

As human beings...we are all meaning making machines...

We make meaning out of anything...we make meaning out of everything....we make meaning out of nothing at all...we put meaning in where it actually doesn't even belong...and we sometimes...many times...credit meanings to a place which they have not been earned...

We tell ourselves all sorts of things in our heart of hearts...when we are alone...the things we believe of ourselves to be truths...which we write as scripts when we were children...not the things that we sell to the world about ourselves...our face to the world in a way....because the face the world sees quite often is not the real us but a projection of what we believe the world wants us to be...the best foot forward so to speak...but the things that we believe about ourselves...in the dark...in the corners of ourselves...nasty negative things...the things we actually believe...which at some point in early childhood...for a variety of reasons...we took on as our own personal definition...

A definition that from the beginning...was never an actual truth...but simply a perception...something that we came to believe about ourselves...I'm not likable...I'm not lovable...I'm not worthy...I'm not valuable or "worth it"....and for whatever reason...at the time....the perception seemed real to us...

But the truth is...really....whatever created the belief...was...never...real.....it was never ever real...never a real truth...it was always just a belief...just a meaning that was attributed to some event or statement that somehow transformed in a persons mind and belief system...and they took it into themselves...turned it into their own personal truth...so that their experiences underlined this belief...see?!? I failed!...I fell!...I screwed this up!...I knew I wasn't likable, lovable, worthy, valuable...so one creates defenses in order to help one cope...be strong...survive...but the definition?...was never real...

This was a story...a script....one wrote for themselves...in early childhood...so one's personal definition has come from a four, five,or six year old...and one's actions, beliefs, and experiences...even in adulthood...are guided by the personal definition of a child...

Meaning making machines....

What meanings have you attributed since you started reading this?

See what I mean?

How many meanings are real? How many things do we create meanings in because we "need" it to mean something? How many meanings are there to help us simply feel safe and secure? How much of our meanings actually mean something? I mean...welp...I ask you...what does it mean to you?

The funny thing is...sometimes....it doesn't mean anything at all...and we?....we have to find a way to accept that...because that itself....in and of itself...means something to us.

Time...

2007-05-22T10:35:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed how time seems to change in different areas of one's life? It is the same sixty minute clock...the same 365 day calendar...the same 60 second minute...but somehow...someway...the older that I get...everything seems to be speeding up. I feel like I am on a ride and I am headed downhill...and as time goes on...I am picking up speed. The momentum is increasing and I am somehow just along for the ride.

Meaning that I can't stop this...it seems....no matter how hard I try to slow it down...no matter how much effort I put in...no matter how far I have come...no matter what I say...think...scream...whisper...hear...react to...calm down...meditate...become mindful of in any moment...ponder...wonder...or cartwheel my way through this life...I can't seem to find the brakes. Not to stop it necessarily...cause that isn't really what I want...just slow down a bit...

I have three grown children...four in all. Two sons and two daughters in that order. They are currently 25, 23, just recently turned 21 years...and the little one is now 22 months. I watched my older three grow and it amazed me because no matter how good or bad things got...time marched on and they grew. They are all amazing people and I am very proud of each of them. But watching them grow and become the people who they have become was very hard...because...well...there has been so much that has happened...and so much to see...sooo much to learn...and teach...and I wanted what I could not have...which was to hang on to those years...but time changes that...time changes the relationships...as it should...but there is a piece of me that remembers...and it makes me smile...and want to cry...all at the same time.

The kicker here...is that almost two years ago now...I started all over...and I LOVE it...and I fear it...and I am enjoying it...all at the same time. Time is such a trip. I didn't have gray hair the first time around. I didn't have a hitch in my giddy up...and I didn't look in the mirror and wonder what the hell happened to me. I have all those things going on now...I try not to dwell on any of it too much...but it is all there...and yet...here I am...with our Sarah Bear in tow...doing it all again...but this time...things are a bit different.

I find myself already missing things that have passed...because I already have the experience of having it...and then having to let it go...because that is the nature of time...and of parenting...because Sarah is growing so fast...and learning at a rate that amazes me...she is truly awesome. I love that little girl...and the time I get to have with her is precious to me. She is a joy in my life and an absolute blessing in every way and sense of the word....and I am already missing the time that is slipping away...it is all bittersweet...but that is the balance of life...anything in too large a quantity is unhealthy...anything overdone is somehow less than...so maybe it is with time as well.

If we were to have more time...for ourselves...with our children....which I have often wished for and wondered about...would it actually be worth it? Better for us? Better for them? Would we do the right thing with that gift? I would like to think that I would...but I am not so sure...I hope that I would...but I wonder...maybe God knows what He is doing after all right? Maybe this is just as it is supposed to be...and because of that...it is up to us...and the effort that we make of it...to make our time quality time...and not wasted time...I see so much waste through my work...and it is such a problem and a shame...there is sooo much pain out there...it is painful to see...and yet...it is a good thing that time is there...to heal us...and lead us to the next phase...and help us find our way.

Process...

2007-05-16T23:53:00.000-07:00

Everything...has a process.

Each thing we do...each nuance of our lives...each pattern we repeat...each dollar we earn and dime we spend...each word we utter and thought we justify...each cold we catch and form of travel we take...each sport or hobby we embark on...each class we take or creative endeavor we create...each job we undertake...each argument we make...each relationship we work through...each chapter of our lives we begin and end...everything....has and is...a process.

The trick to learning something...to really getting "it"...is to figure out it's process. So there is no amount of money you can not make...no business you can't build...no amount of love you can not create...no amount of pleasure you can't reap...no amount of satisfaction you can not reach...no path to enlightenment you can not take...if you are willing to put in the work...to learning the process.

Do you want something in your life? Is there something missing for you? Is there a part of you that has a wish that needs to be fulfilled? Is there a wish that you do not have but think you should have? Hope you can find? Something you want to learn? Something you want to earn?

Whatever it is for you....there is a process...a way of discovering it if you do not know....and....attaining it if you do. All you need to do...is answer one simple question...(OK OK it isn't THAT simple a question LOL).......that question is....what....do....you....want? Once you have something in mind...there is a process to figuring out a way to make it happen...and you can make it happen. First though...you have to know...what you want.

There is even a process to figuring out a process. Whenever I teach anything...the very first thing I like to start with...is quite simply...a definition. So first....define what it is you want to learn...or are going to study. Once you know and can spell out exactly what it is that you are going after...define what that thing means to you....and the rest is just fleshing out the details.

There are many ways to flesh out details and figure out a process...Internet searching, libraries, book stores, gurus, mentors, volunteering, information interviews, pleasant conversations with others who already know about what you want to know, therapy, counseling, support groups, community programs, classes, getting certificates and degrees, instructional tapes/CD's/DVD's, experimentation, risk taking, and many many other ways to try to get information and direction towards anything and everything you want to accomplish.

The key to success and living your dreams....whatever they may be....is in the process....it is the journey...not the destination....it is the process....that will teach you...inspire you...lead you...and help you to overcome. Find the process...and you can fulfill your hopes...your desires....your dreams....whatever they may be. Find the process....find YOUR process....

Effort

2007-05-15T08:08:00.000-07:00

I was traveling down the Interstate yesterday taking my daughter to a Dr. appointment in another town about 50 miles away and I saw a very large bird in flight...hawk I think...beautiful...soaring...effortlessly...lifting and shifting on the long breath of the wind...and the word that came to my troubled mind in the moment was freedom. Freedom to be who he/she is....whether just out for an afternoon cruise or looking for a meal. Freedom to just be. Freedom to do with one's time what one will choose...instead of what is so often forced upon us.

Freedom.

Then it occured to me that the freedom I was imagining wasn't really real. It was after all...my imagination...all too real to me and me alone...but to the hawk...more than likely...they weren't feeling free...they were probably hungry and feeling the need to feed without the freedom of traveling to a local supermarket to achieve one's goal....Mr./Ms. hawk has to work for it...of course even in this freedom one isn't really free...because it takes some sort of way to pay for all these choices in the grocery store...and without the money to exchange...well...there ain't no free lunch....as they say...so where is all this freedom?...good question...

I love the word...freedom. I love the idea of freedom...although I am not sure which I love more...the word or the idea...I love it so much that I thought about tattooing it across my back...but the more I thought about it...the more I started to come to the conclusion...that it isn't really the idea of freedom that gets me so engaged...it was what freedom represents to me. In a word...my favorite word...of all words...serenity. The idea of being free to me is the opportunity to truly find serenity in my life...in every aspect of my life...without interference from governments, employers, advertisers, peddlers, wars, mind games, emotional disease, trauma, drama, or even my own voice...which is the loudest of them all. To truly find a place in me...that is serene...that I can find my serenity...this is my desire...this is my goal...this is my wish...

Right about now you might be wondering...why the heck did he title this effort? It is because of that hawk....it is because of the journey of my mind...my heart...my spirit...it is because of the countless ways that I try to find that serenity...that freedom...that freedom of my own time...and my own mind...that I must pursue...I must actively seek...putting out the effort...the DOING....of what is ultimately my journey...and the consistant feeling of becoming lost in the struggle...and then having to find me again...and find that still small voice of God in me again...that is what makes this a struggle...and what takes the effort...towards my own personal growth...finding a way...to BE...in the now...like Mr./Ms. hawk....just being in the now...not in the future or in the past...just right now...

The effort...the struggle...the journey...is the story...is my story...my own personal truth...as it is for each of us...and we find it where we will...wherever we will...wherever we are open to seeing what is already there...in the moment...in the now. So I would say...to other fellow weary travelors and seekers of their own personal truths...look....see what is already there...and be open to the message that comes to you from it...for it does speak to you...if you will just get yourself out of the way...if only...so that you can hear it. Just as the hawk soars...what does it speak to you?

1st post...new addition

2007-05-13T16:03:00.000-07:00

OK...today is the first....of many to come...and I have finally joined the electronic world...of putting my two cents in....or should it be sense...since this is The Thought Lounge....a place meant for casual statements and deep thought...blind sensibilities with hopefullness in abundant display with an occasional swipe at humor all wrapped up in what I will attempt to be something or someone with some intelligence...and something interesting to say.

I hope.

Or....maybe not and it'll be lame.

I will say I am seriously trying to not let that happen.....and all at once admitting that it is a distinct possibility...all in the same type written breath. SO...we will see...as for now....the journey....has begun.